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Teen Poetry #4
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fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958


0 posted 2001-01-30 04:14 PM


In silence we talk
And in darkness we walk
Through that deep, dark
Thing that swims as a shark
Through our inner shafts
And sanctums.

For some the thing is guilt.
On sin we long to forget,
It is so shamelessly built.
But fast and steady it is set,
Never to move away,
Never to die or sway.

For some the thing is fear.
It is some dark thing that crawls
About in shadows within the heart.
But we are afraid to seek and call
It out of us.
So it consumes us.

In silence we talk about it.
In darkness we walk about in it.


But we never face
It, not even in our deaths.
We regret it for
Now and then forevermore.

© Copyright 2001 fractal007 - All Rights Reserved
jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
1 posted 2001-01-30 04:16 PM


your last stanza will be etched in my mind...
i loved that conclusion, it made this poem all the better!
great job bro

~JDR

"I am two minded. I have two sides of thinking."

fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

2 posted 2001-01-30 04:28 PM


Thankyou for the compliments, Jeremy.  I meant the poem as a warning to people who look for the "quick fix".  We must face things, and gain strength from it.
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-01-30 07:31 PM


I got the message from the start. Face your fears and learn from them. Nice one here. I really liked the way you expressed this.
Always happy to read a poem of yours frac.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anomaly187
Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284
San Francisco,CA,US
4 posted 2001-01-30 08:43 PM


already as i was reading
the beginning of the poem
it was blowing my mind away
and then i got to the end!!!
simply amazing...
outstanding work!!

"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro"



MidnightMaverick
Junior Member
since 2001-01-15
Posts 35
Duluth, MN, USA
5 posted 2001-01-30 08:55 PM


Awesome piece of work! I enjoy reading your stuff very much. Keep up the good work!

Midnight Maverick

fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

6 posted 2001-01-31 02:31 AM


Thanks, all, for the compliments.  I liked the Alien films, and they inspired the darker imagery I used here.  I'm glad that this worked out well.
Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
7 posted 2001-01-31 05:25 PM


"But we never face
It, not even in our deaths.
We regret it for
Now and then forevermore."

what more can i say...this says it all
great work


I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR



~sugarpie313~
Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375
Maine, USA
8 posted 2001-01-31 08:04 PM


I agree with the others on the last stanza. it is very blunt and i like that in poems.
Even though i don't really do it in mine as much as i should. *L*   Keep writing!!

~Valerie~

*...Remember your roots, my friend they're right down below, because heroes come and heroes go...* - Creed

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