navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » A Dialog
Teen Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic A Dialog Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
IsGona
Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723


0 posted 2001-01-28 01:41 PM


Ok I don't even know why I'm posting this, but maybe someone will find it interesting
Let me explain what this is.  Last night, I was feeling a little funny, going a little crazy.  Kinda like I had a different view on life.  An out of body experience perhaps.  So I got this idea to sit down, free my mind and simply write down my thoughts... this is what came out of it.
Note in some parts I try to rhyme but it really doesn't work, but I didn't want to change anything because that would defeat the purpose of what I was doing.  So here it is


~A Dialog~

...Ok I'm here

        So... what?

What?

        Tell me things

Like what?

        My self-conscience.  Read it to me.

Are you sure?

        No

To late
Michelle, you don't love her
You think you do, but you are wrong
Your dad, you still hate him
This anger... it is here, not gone

       Stop.  Who are you anyhow?

...

       Answer me!!!

You know who I am

       I was wrong I don't want to know

Well tell me what YOU think

       Ok
       Michelle, I need her in my life
       She is the one
       My dad, I have forgiven him
       That is done

Naive

       Happy

Naive

       Go away  [edit]
       I don't need you any more

Fine


----------
Well after I wrote this I was pretty freaked out, and I still don't really know where it came from.
I think it's quite interesting though.
< !signature-->

"Every body has their destiny...
I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN
~Hatebreed~



[This message has been edited by IsGona (edited 01-28-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 IsGona - All Rights Reserved
~*Buffy Summers*~
Junior Member
since 2000-11-30
Posts 24
Avondale,AZ,USA
1 posted 2001-01-28 01:55 PM


LOL... Thats Funny... But weird. I can get way crazy like that. Sometimes I'LL just stare at the floor and tears will roll down my face. I have no idea why... Like I'LL be sitting next to my friends and want to talk with them about death and if there scared to die.. But Im like no I dont wanna talk with them about this. I don't want them to know how deep my conversations can be about on life and death and god and the devil so I keep it inside....

Kim Rayann

Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
2 posted 2001-01-28 02:07 PM


  Hey Jason. Going nuts is fun sometimes, isn't it? But so incredibly painful, too..Well anyways, the poem was pretty cool...I hope the voices listened to my advice...
  ~Carly

inspiration of my art search for light out of the dark all the pictures in my heart lie awake there in my fog...

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
3 posted 2001-01-28 03:00 PM


that was very weird bro
i like to see that kinda stuff
the style really captured the feelings expressed, scattered and not in it's regular body
nice one

~JDR

"Is it love in my gut, or piss in my bladder?" -Allan Riverwood

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-01-28 10:30 PM


IsGona, I absolutely LOVED this. Very good very very very good. I didn't think it was funny or weird. I've done it myself. Mine are a bit crazier......

What I'd do is write something like (and in parenthesis have what i'd be thinkin)....like you know how when you write in an essay or read a boring book you tend to drift away (car)....well in parenthesis i'd write what came to mind without forcing anything (smurf) to come to mind at all. Just random things, whether they (superbowl) be incoherent or not. So it's like (two) you're getting two different thoughts, one LONG elaborate essay and little portions (pizza) of other little thoughts.


Anyway nice one here!



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

IsGona
Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723

5 posted 2001-01-29 06:52 AM


Buffy ~ I think this IS a little wierd.  Seeing how I have no idea where this came from.  It's almost like I didn't write it, but thanks for your reply.

Carly ~ Going "nutz" is the best.  The world of insanity holds all our secrets I know it, but it's only fun to visit.  If you stay to long the munchkins and purple turtles in boxer shorts will drag you down... hehe  

JDR ~ Thank you.  I'm so glad some ppl enjoyed this... That is great.

Dopey ~ Wow thanks very much very very VERY much... hehe.  Really though I'm glad you liked it.  When I posted this I was thinking about your posts a while ago where you said you were just sitting observing ppl and wrote the down every word that popped into your head.  I thought those were great.

Thanks again every one.
~Jason
< !signature-->

"Every body has their destiny...
I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN
~Hatebreed~



[This message has been edited by IsGona (edited 01-29-2001).]

Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
6 posted 2001-01-29 04:56 PM


Oh, Jason, do I totally know what you mean here!!
I understand you completely.
And it's not crazy.... besides "we all go a little mad sometimes."  
Good job!!

xoxo
Jenn


"A person can never get over a broken heart if they aren't willing to let go of all of the pieces."-- ??


Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
7 posted 2001-01-30 05:56 PM


Hey, i think everyone does that
We try to talk to ourselves and fiugre things out
thanks for sharing your thoughts

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR



Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
8 posted 2001-01-30 06:14 PM


yes, creative, very good job here jason.  Sometimes I feel the same way about my writing, I don't know where it came from.

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

IsGona
Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723

9 posted 2001-02-03 04:22 PM


Thank ya,

Jenn ~ it's good to know ppl can relate.  thx

acirE ~Yes I think we do too.  Good point.

Lake ~ I hear ya.  Thx for the reply

~Jason


To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is
research

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » A Dialog

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary