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Teen Poetry #4
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The Story of the Bird
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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The Story of the Bird |
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Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA 
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There once was a beautiful bird. She was a rare and exotic blue, But when she was sad she was black Until she was once again made new. When I met her, she was happy. She loved to sing and fly. Around and ‘round she flew In the clear and sunny sky. One day when she was flying, She reached her highest height. Then the sky grew dark and cloudy And the ground was lost from sight. The ominous clouds grew thicker yet. Thunder and lightening crashed in anger. Her feathers turned black in agony, She feared her life was in danger. The storm was far too violent And in the wind she could not fly. She let the storm thrash her about Because she was too worn-out to try. And when the storm was over, She fell to the ground where she’d remain. She layed there for many cold nights, She stayed there for many rainy days. And then one day a man appeared, After she’d been there for a while. And with just one look at the stranger, The bird began to smile. He gently picked her up And held her in his hands. His touch took away her pain And she kept smiling at the man. He nursed her back to health And mended her broken wings. He cared for her and talked to her, And for him she would sing. And when the bird was better, He kept her by his side. Their partnership was strong And their brilliant smiles, wide. Soon the bird could fly again, Much higher than before. The man admired her beauty As for him she soared. She was so new again And had learned many lessons wise. She learned she must not quit; She must always try and try. She also learned it was not smart To try to fly so high so soon, And that when the time was right She could sail up to the moon. She would not fly too early, And would not get carried away. She even learned to fly On the stormiest of days. And so the bright blue bird, So new and now so strong, Was happy with her man and hoped Her happiness would last long. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Sara - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA |
Hey everyone! Just thought I would apologize for my little 2-week absence and explain this. This is EXTREMELY metaphorical and symbolic. The bird is me. The storm is the toils of love and like. You can understand the rest as long as you know that. Please let me know what you think and be as critical as ya want! Thanx!  -=Suga=- |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
Wow, nice work Suga Baby. Good to see the exotic blue is back in flight. I liked how your poem wrapped things up, by talking 'bout the lessons learned. Good work ~Jason < !signature--> "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ [This message has been edited by IsGona (edited 01-26-2001).] |
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anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
this was a great way of expressing your feelings...amazing work..i hope to see more of your writings "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro" |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Hmm critical as I want eh? *L* Nah there is nothing to be critical about here as it was written beautifully. You highlighted everything symbolic in relationships and expanded on it well. Happiness is what you make of it and by the sounds of this piece, you are going to happy for a while. If someone can mend you and make you sing again, anything is possible. Nice expression and good luck. ~AF~ "Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." Buddha |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
that was really symbolic, i never would have guessed you were the bird and so forth i am a bit concerned in a couple stanzas your ABCB rhyme didnt work out, but the rest of the poem was absolutely written cleverly, hope to read more soon ~JDR "Is it love in my gut, or piss in my bladder?" -Allan Riverwood |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
You're a great story teller Great hidden message too learn from past mistakes and keep trying yes, you can't go into the future without looking at your past at least i believe that part geald you met a guy that treats you that way  thanks for the read I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Pixie-Babe03 Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387Central Maine |
AWESOME poem it is booootie-ful i oove you!! ~*Teenie*~ -=Love starts with a SMILE, grows with a KISS, and ends with a TEAR=- |
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~sugarpie313~ Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375Maine, USA |
this is very good. i like it a lot see ya in study hall sara ~Valerie~ *...Remember your roots, my friend they're right down below, because heroes come and heroes go...* - Creed |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was really good. A wonderful tale here. I understood what you were trying to portray within the poem. Very good way to do it. Nice one!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
hey! wow, you did a really good job on this one. I bet you thought you'd never get another reply on this one,:-D heehee. but it's wonderful, and I hope the other's I'm about to read by you are equally as good. oh, and thanks for the reply to my poem...it was my first attempt...I'll definatly improve. cya Stace |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
great poem...very creative and nice expression of feelings..i enjoyed this a lot...  ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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