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Teen Poetry #4
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Left With Nothing
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Left With Nothing |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico 
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NOTE: Personally I like the first stanza, but I think as the poem progresses I lost track of style and went off into another one haha......oh well! Left With Nothing: I held her down along the path. She bade me to give her room, But I crowded her life. I ruined her fun, And now I'm alone. Left before, I tried so hard To change a part of me, But the core of soul shunned My non-stop force to become A better man for her. She's gone now and I, I'm all alone here. Where the concrete form Of nothingness takes over my soul. My life, My better half.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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| © Copyright 2001 Pepe de la Muerte - All Rights Reserved | |||
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~sugarpie313~ Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375Maine, USA |
This was great!! i love it!! i love all your work but this one sticks out from the rest. you just tell ol' Valerie here who left you and i'll kick her nasty little butt!!!  ~valerie~ *...Remember your roots, my friend they're right down below, because heroes come and heroes go...* - Creed |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Oh no dopey!!! Your supposed to be the happy one 'round here. Say it ain't so! Anyway, this was really good. xoxo Jenn "A person can never get over a broken heart if they aren't willing to let go of all of the pieces."-- ?? |
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sweetypie5 Member
since 2000-10-06
Posts 97MWC,OK,USA |
Awwwweee...that is sooo sad!!! Don't worry be happy Gurlz can be cruel...I should know I am one!! LoL....but really it was a good poem!!! I like all the stanzas so don't say it was bad!!! I can only say that bout mypoems!!! Well keep writing and don't let that gurl get to ya! ~LOVE~ *~*S*T*E*P*H*A*N*I*E*~* *~*Hope is a walking dream*~* *~*Don't take life too seriosly~~~you'll never get out alive*~* |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
"She's gone now and I, I'm all alone here. Where the concrete form Of nothingness takes over my soul. My life, My better half." This says it all!!! Cheer up Dopes!!! I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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sweetstuff101 Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 375OK, USA |
Amazing...simply amazing! You are an awesome poet, ya know that??? Well you are!! I luv this poem! Keep up the awesome work!! Luv Always, ~*~P r I s C i L l A~*~ How come it is so easy for a person to say "I hate you," but it is so difficult for someone to say "I love you" and really mean it???? |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
definately one of your better styles and i liked this one a bunch, beautiful descriptions ~JDR "Is it love in my gut, or piss in my bladder?" -Allan Riverwood |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
So, you ah, think you can beat my dancing huh? NEVER!!! *pulls a SUPER riverdance act on your ass and burns holes in the floor with the marvelous footwork* hahaha! Beat that!! lol I was in the Royal Acadamy of Dancing (or maybe I wasn't  ) so yeah!!Nice poem by the way, I agree with Jean, you are meant to be the happy one!! Smile Dopey, smile. ~AF~ "Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." Buddha |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
I agree with all of them, but I'm not going to tell you that 'cause you don't ever believe it anyway. So... You suck.  < !signature-->I am no one if not myself. Angel of Darkness [This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (edited 01-28-2001).] |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
Yeah is good. I disagree with you though I like the last stanza the best. Great work ~Jason |
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~*Buffy Summers*~ Junior Member
since 2000-11-30
Posts 24Avondale,AZ,USA |
good poem. Im sorry If your girl left you. It happens to me all the time too... I thought I loved this guy and would do anything for him untel one day... He said I always was crowding around him. Mostley all my poetry is about him. I love him but he does not love me. I guess I can do better but no one to reach out to me. PS Hope you don't stay sad forever Kim Rayann |
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anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
we should erect a Passions Hall of Fame in your honor..heh as always an outstanding post dopey (do i even have to make it known?)...great descriptions and great emotions..great work "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro" |
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HiddenSparklez Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 190British Columbia, Canada |
Great work, i enjoyed it cuz i actually felt something after reading it. It truly moved me. "You do what you do, you say what you say, you try to be everything to everyone... come on now, do that stupid dance for me" -Everclear |
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Hallie_Angel Member
since 2000-12-06
Posts 102 |
Dopey, Hey hun, I'm back. I needed a break. Your still writing awesome poems and keeping us all held for breath waiting to see what you are going to write next. You the coolest poem writer I know, along with Alyssa! See ya round! ~Catherine |
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Hallie_Angel Member
since 2000-12-06
Posts 102 |
Dopey, About my poem just like me, will you sit down next to me if you see me sitting all alone? Please reply. ~Catherine |
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Hallie_Angel Member
since 2000-12-06
Posts 102 |
Dear Dpoey, Hey thank you so much. I'm in a time of sadness right now and your kindness and sencerity is a big help. Even though we are far away I can feel that you are truely a great person inside unlike many others(Especially the ones with the same last name as I). I appreciate you being my friend! Always, ~Catherine |
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