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DreadedLiver
Member

since 2001-01-23

Posts 56
Alter, Ego

0 posted 2001-01-24 11:03 PM

Another odd style, just want to spice it up a little.

You, My Universe:

i cannot compare
and contrast you
(you cannot be contrasted)
to seas’ blue

but of course
(I can compare)
you accurately
(if I dare)

it’ll boggle
minds;
any of differ
ent kinds.

features such
as, (smile, lips so red)
skin and hair;
incise in my head

you: me:
us: (strolling through)
lighted lamps, moonshine
enhances eyes’ blue

-Knightfellow

< !signature-->

"If you had a choice to believe in yourself, or another person, who would it be?"

[This message has been edited by DreadedLiver (edited 01-24-2001).]

jeremydraul
Senior Member

since 2000-08-01

Posts 1118
State of Despair

1 posted 2001-01-24 11:08 PM

i love to see new styles. once again i have to say that ive never seen this style in this forum before. i think its really special to be able to write like that. i loved the idea of how you cant contrast her to anytthing beautiful but you can compare her accurately, beautiful ideas portrayed, IM LOVING THIS STYLE.

~JDR

"Is it love in my gut, or piss in my bladder?" -Allan Riverwood

IsGona
Senior Member

since 2000-07-14

Posts 723

2 posted 2001-01-25 12:03 PM

e.e. cummings was your grandfather. wasn't he? I would love to see more of these. They are great. You have a talent here.
Nice work
~Jason

"Every body has their destiny...
I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN
~Hatebreed~

katherine
Member

since 2000-06-10

Posts 365
Canberra Australia

3 posted 2001-01-25 12:25 PM

this is really good. i love how it's diferent.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-01-25 01:26 PM

Yea I love E.E.........he's real good and you did very well in his style. Do you have a style of your own, or one that you like writing in other than E.E.?

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

5 posted 2001-01-25 06:24 PM

This definitely is different from the rest of the poem styles i've seen here in passions
It's intriguing me right now

"you: me:
us: (strolling through)
lighted lamps, moonshine
enhances eyes’ blue"

beautiful!!!
keep posting

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR

DreadedLiver
Member

since 2001-01-23

Posts 56
Alter, Ego

6 posted 2001-01-25 09:08 PM

Well, I can write in sonnet form... I really like this kind of writing because it is so unique to me. I will try writing something else to amuse you and thanks to everyone!!

-Knightfellow

"If you had a choice to believe in yourself, or another person, who would it be?"

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