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Passions in Poetry

The Perfect Life

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Child of the Stars
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0 posted 01-24-2001 08:44 PM       View Profile for Child of the Stars   Email Child of the Stars   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Child of the Stars

The feather and the fish awoke,
Both drowsy from their dreams.
Each hosted minds unlike their kind,
Imaginations gleamed.

The feather and the fish arose,
Escaped their monsters dark.
They pondered life in other's world
And soon, a light did spark!

The feather and the fish, aloud
Proclaimed their newest thought.
"Why shan't we not leave from this place,
So weak and so distraught?"

The feather and the fish, among
Counless admiring fans
Prepared for the departure to
The other being's land.

The feather and the fish; anew
With a divinest hope.
The feather traveled to the sea,
And fish, for clouds did grope.

The feather and the fish arrived
To other's brand new world.
Yet both were so dissatisfied,
Each left, with anger hurled.

The feather and the fish, asleep
Now dreaming of the sun.
A brilliant death, so far away.
New Life: the Perfect One.
© Copyright 2001 Carly Anne Van Dort - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
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1 posted 01-24-2001 09:18 PM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

Carly omg, this was an amazing poem. So good, so wonderful.......Wonderful poem carly wow. I liked this one a lot. So original and nicely composed. My fav by you!




I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily
IsGona
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since 07-14-2000
Posts 1179


2 posted 01-24-2001 09:27 PM       View Profile for IsGona   Email IsGona   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for IsGona

Yeah I totally agree with Dopey.  I don't thinkI can sat "WOW" and "This is amazing" enough.  But I can say it a couple so Wow this is really amazing, REALY wow you are an amazing tallent.  Well theres a start I'm sure the rest of them will say it several more times.  Great work Carly.  I loved it.
~Jason

"Every body has their destiny...
I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN
~Hatebreed~
katherine
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since 06-10-2000
Posts 568
Canberra Australia


3 posted 01-24-2001 09:30 PM       View Profile for katherine   Email katherine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for katherine

wow wow wow! awesome poem
keep it up
DreadedLiver
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since 01-23-2001
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Alter, Ego


4 posted 01-24-2001 10:38 PM       View Profile for DreadedLiver   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for DreadedLiver

wow... great story... i really loved the perfect title, as well as amusing literary devices... keep it up.

-Knightfellow

"If you had a choice to believe in yourself, or another person, who would it be?"
Acies
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5 posted 01-24-2001 10:49 PM       View Profile for Acies   Email Acies   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Acies

astonished!!!
Carly...this is the one you made in 5 minutes?
WOW WOW WOW!!!
as i've said before, you never seize to amaze me
i'm totally in envy of your talents in writing

again, i bow infront of you in praise  

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR


Child of the Stars
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6 posted 01-26-2001 03:02 PM       View Profile for Child of the Stars   Email Child of the Stars   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Child of the Stars

   Hey everyone. I can't even begin to thank you enough for your replies. But I ask one thing of those who might reply after this...What did it mean to you? Just wondering. Thanks again you wunnerful people.
  ~Carly

inspiration of my art search for light out of the dark all the pictures in my heart lie awake there in my fog...
Morouxshi San
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since 10-11-2000
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7 posted 01-27-2001 08:29 AM       View Profile for Morouxshi San   Email Morouxshi San   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Morouxshi San

sorry for my lateness Carly. i know you told me it was up for a while, but i really didnt feel like posting or reading anything, so this is all im reading today.

i loved the poem i see youve stayed with the narrative poetry wich you do oh so very well.
i really loved it.

the feather and the fish, both wanted a new life because they didnt beleave that what they had was enough for them. the feather and the fish couldnt have been more wrong.


San, the wise
San, the dumb
San, the guy...

~sugarpie313~
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since 09-14-2000
Posts 389
Maine, USA


8 posted 01-27-2001 12:21 PM       View Profile for ~sugarpie313~   Email ~sugarpie313~   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ~sugarpie313~

this poem kicks major arse!!!!   i love it!!
right now, this is my fave poem by you!!
congrats on your supercalifragilisticexpialidocious work!!!
LMAO  

~*Valerie*~

*...Remember your roots, my friend they're right down below, because heroes come and heroes go...* - Creed
anomaly187
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since 06-15-2000
Posts 285
San Francisco,CA,US


9 posted 01-27-2001 04:38 PM       View Profile for anomaly187   Email anomaly187   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anomaly187

i have to agree with pretty much everyone else in saying this is one of the greatest ones i've read by you..simply amazing the way you used literay devices and wrote a interesting story..great work

"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro"

Child of the Stars
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10 posted 02-01-2001 04:02 PM       View Profile for Child of the Stars   Email Child of the Stars   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Child of the Stars

  Thank you guys so much...I took a little break and stuff so I didn't get a chance to thank all of you as much as I should have, so again, thank you...there should be a million ways to say that...but I guess there's only one..so yeah...I love you guys...
   ~Carly


"Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy." (Nora Ephron)
Elvenblood
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since 02-17-2001
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11 posted 02-17-2001 09:33 PM       View Profile for Elvenblood   Email Elvenblood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elvenblood

Hey, this is fantastic work, I really love this, this shoudl be seen by everyone!

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK
Elvenblood
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Posts 421
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12 posted 02-17-2001 10:43 PM       View Profile for Elvenblood   Email Elvenblood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Elvenblood

*stands and looks geeky* sorry, I'm new, I'm replying again to add this to my library. *urrr*

"Some men see things as they are and say why.
I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK
Allan Riverwood
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13 posted 03-27-2001 04:54 PM       View Profile for Allan Riverwood   Email Allan Riverwood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allan Riverwood

So tell me, Carly... by "the perfect one," did you mean this poem?     Just curious...
Seriously... this is outstanding.  Very creative and well-written, and the story had a neat ending.     You rule, kiddo.
This is totally bizarre... and is in my library now!  
The feather and the fish shan't be forgotten.  
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort

keoni
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Up in the mountains in the NFC


14 posted 03-27-2001 05:03 PM       View Profile for keoni   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for keoni

AWESOME! I really liked this piece. It's one of the best I have ever read here, seriously. It's in my library now!
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine

Linc
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The Backstreet Boy


15 posted 03-27-2001 05:07 PM       View Profile for Linc   Email Linc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Linc

Hey,

      WOW, now I don't know if its my fav. of yours because you have some good ones but this is one of them. Keep up the great work

   -- Linc

"Once you reach your original goal it seems that the journey was your real accomplishment."

Fading Away
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16 posted 03-28-2001 04:47 PM       View Profile for Fading Away   Email Fading Away   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Fading Away

*Applauds*

This one if the best I've read from you!  Great job!

--Marie

I never thought that you would ever be the one to let me down. I guess that just goes to show how wrong I always am.

Child of the Stars
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17 posted 03-28-2001 05:21 PM       View Profile for Child of the Stars   Email Child of the Stars   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Child of the Stars

  Mmmmm shanks peeps...hehe...i feel so high..hehe...don't take sleep medicine during the day..hehehe.....its bad for you...heheh....byebye! hehe
  ~Carly

Many miles behind my eyelashes, there always seems to be
the strangest things, the slightly sane, that only I can see...

Acies
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18 posted 04-04-2001 07:00 PM       View Profile for Acies   Email Acies   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Acies

You da Girl!!!

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Low Man's Lyric
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since 04-03-2001
Posts 1124
In a dream


19 posted 04-04-2001 07:10 PM       View Profile for Low Man's Lyric   Email Low Man's Lyric   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Low Man's Lyric's Home Page   View IP for Low Man's Lyric

I liked this poem alot. Keep posting so I can read more of your writings.
anonymous albert ?
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20 posted 04-30-2001 03:14 PM       View Profile for anonymous albert ?   Email anonymous albert ?   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymous albert ?

*bump*page one..

amazing poem jus awesome woooooowww hehe..
i liked this one lots..

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Child of the Stars
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21 posted 04-30-2001 03:17 PM       View Profile for Child of the Stars   Email Child of the Stars   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Child of the Stars

Well hello, Perfect Life!!   Nice to see you back. Many thanks to you, al, for bumpin! Makes me happay.  
  ~Carly

"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.And the self-same well from which your laughter rises was often-times filled with your tears." ~Kahil Gibran

Allan Riverwood
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22 posted 05-23-2001 09:52 AM       View Profile for Allan Riverwood   Email Allan Riverwood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allan Riverwood

The bump was a failed one.  
I love this poem loads, Carly!  I want some of the newbies to read it.
~Allan  
Jenn Cirrincione
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Fl


23 posted 05-23-2001 11:35 AM       View Profile for Jenn Cirrincione   Email Jenn Cirrincione   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jenn Cirrincione

I'm no newbie, but I'm tardy just the same. I liked this a lot... This poem reminds me of a mature Dr. Seuss... It was like, very different, but very good. As to what this poem meant to me? Everyone wants to be something else, somewhere else, you know? Anywhere but where they are. Anyone but who they are. No one is satisfied. But then suddenly, they get what they think they want, a change. And it turns out to be unfulfilling. Don't know if that was what was meant by it, but that's what I got. I loved it, and sorry I missed it the first time around!!

Jenn

"If it's wrong to love you, then my heart just won't let me be right, cause I'm drowned in you, and I won't pull through without you by my side." Mari

knightlyshadows
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Posts 950
obscured vision


24 posted 05-23-2001 11:52 AM       View Profile for knightlyshadows   Email knightlyshadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for knightlyshadows

*does the CarlAy is talkin likes me dance* newayz.... hun this was just wonderfulisticals. i think ya dids a super job hunnAy!!! woohoo 4 u!!! *hugs*
ur future ic sissAy in-law  
tiff


A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.

I want to look into your eyes and see you smile at me
I want to hear you say "Well done"

[This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (edited 05-23-2001).]

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