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DreadedLiver
Member
since 2001-01-23
Posts 56
Alter, Ego

0 posted 2001-01-23 11:16 PM


This piece was influenced by E.E. Cummings. It is an eccentric style, but it works comfortably when you neglect the parenthesis the first time you read it. Try and guess what the gift is   It's obvious.

-My Fair-Haired Gift-

eyes of
steel (cold too)
inwards you
reel
towards my
lips (tender skin)
with jointing
hips

and…(just when you thought it was safe)

a kiss
transpires (meaningful)
the red sky
fires
blasts gleam
overhead (fireworks of love)
uniting us in
thread

and…(just when you thought it was over)

again it
lives (never died though)
romantic night
gives
moments creating
memory (outlined well)
an everlasting
specialty

-Knightfellow



"If you had a choice to believe in yourself, or another person, who would it be?"

© Copyright 2001 Jesper A. Knightfellow - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2001-01-24 02:51 PM


Welcome to Passions! I liked this poem very much! I love E.E. Cummings. I thought this was great. Is the gift love?
I don't know, i tried.

Nice one here, hope to see more!



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
2 posted 2001-01-24 02:54 PM


Wow, never have I seen a style so daring as this... the words were so special.. I am thinking that the Gift is a girl because "hair" is contained in the title...
WELCOME TO PASSIONS. Cant wait to read more.

~JDR

"Is it love in my gut, or piss in my bladder?" -Allan Riverwood

IsGona
Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723

3 posted 2001-01-24 03:11 PM


I love E. E. Cummings.  He wrote with great style.  I think you did a wonderful job of captureing this in your poem.  I could never write anything this good.  I really enjoyed it.  Good work.
~Jason

ps
I actually learned something from your this thread.  I had always thought that E. E. Cummings had changed his legal name to all lower case, like how he signed his poems (e. e. cummings.)  So when I saw every one refering to him as E. E. Cummings I did some ivestigating and found that, that is absolutly false.  His official name is still E. E. Cummings, so if any one else was lied to, now you know too...  
To read for your self


"Every body has their destiny...
I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN
~Hatebreed~

LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

4 posted 2001-01-24 04:18 PM


Welcome to Passions!

This is a wonderful poem. The style of the great E. E. Cummings isn't easily imitated, but you do it great justice. I can't wait to see more of your work.

PS-check your e-mail

"Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather
"Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav



Greeneyes617
Member
since 2000-11-22
Posts 329
Arkansas
5 posted 2001-01-24 05:04 PM


Welcome! I must say this was very interseting. I am looking forward to reading more of you work.
Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
6 posted 2001-01-24 05:49 PM


Cool.  
This was different, I don't know much of Cummings's work, but I am sure you did him justice.  
The gift is probably a woman.

xoxo
Jenn
< !signature-->

"A person can never get over a broken heart if they aren't willing to let go of all of the pieces."-- ??



[This message has been edited by Jenn Cirrincione (edited 01-24-2001).]

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
7 posted 2001-01-24 05:59 PM


wow! welcome to passions. e.e. cummings is amazing, and you pulled off his style.
congrats. im waiting to see more.
regina

katherine
Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365
Canberra Australia
8 posted 2001-01-24 09:02 PM


great poem i loved it! keep it up
DreadedLiver
Member
since 2001-01-23
Posts 56
Alter, Ego
9 posted 2001-01-24 10:39 PM


jeremy n jenn nailed it... its about my girl friend.. thanks to all who replied...

-Knightfellow

"If you had a choice to believe in yourself, or another person, who would it be?"

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
10 posted 2001-01-25 04:30 PM


Welcome to Passions
I hope you like it here, great job on this poem!!!


"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

Fearless_Angel
Member
since 2000-10-03
Posts 57
Calgary, AB Canada
11 posted 2001-01-25 10:11 PM


~*WaSsUp?*~ Welcome to passions. I hope you find this place as wonder as I do. Everyone here is alwayz happy to help with problems 24/7 and it's just a happy, kewl place to relax and look at other people's talents as well as displaying your own. Anyways, kewl poem. I like it. It's got neat style! Well, I've gotta bounce now...keep writing!

Lotsa Love,
Angel
xoxoxo

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