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Teen Poetry #4
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The Lost Supertone
Member
since 2001-01-20
Posts 74
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada

0 posted 2001-01-21 12:09 PM


OK I just wanna thank some of the coo people on here who welcomed me after one post... I'm a regular on another message board (and they have me enslaved makeing graphics for em, hehe)  and while I am devoted to that one, it would be nice to meet some really deep people, the other one's for a Christian Ska band, Five Iron Frenzy (really awsome band) but while there are the deep Christians, there are also just a lot of people who kinda exist and dont' think.  So I figure here would be a nice place to go too, granted I'm not about ot change this to my home page, but still.... yeah so here is the poem that I am gona post now... and hopefully I will get a reply from someone who's a friend but I don't even know his SN,
haha

Ok here's the poem.

This one's acctually happy, probably my happest one... basicaly to contrast with all my sad gloomy ones.
haha

Oh well I guess I've said here's the poem enough so I will acctually get on with it
so without further adue (is that how you spell it? I dono I suck at spellin) I am gona talk more, kidding, anyway here's my poem "A Rose By Any Other Name"
___________________________________

A gentle breeze.
A nice feeling.
A pretty tree.
A great sleep.
A sunset.
A warm day.

The sunrise.
The sun in the winter.
The sound of children laughing.
The ocean.
The smile form a stranger.
The rainbow.

Elohim
Aba
Yaway
Adoni
Jahova
Great I am

A rose by any other name would still smell as
sweet.

_____________________________________

Yes that's right most of my poems ARN"T 2 and a half pages.

Good night people, God Bless

© Copyright 2001 David Puranen - All Rights Reserved
anomaly187
Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284
San Francisco,CA,US
1 posted 2001-01-21 12:38 PM


this is a great poem!..i loved the style you write in on this...the poem really breathe's your happiness.

"It's better to burn out then fade away"


The Lost Supertone
Member
since 2001-01-20
Posts 74
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
2 posted 2001-01-21 12:41 PM


Thanks, I guess my other poem kinda gave a poor representation of my default style... I tend to be far more uniformed than that... as you will see if you chose to read my other poems.

But yes my God is the only thing in my life that really gives me joy that dosn't fade, everything else tends to lose it's effect within hours... only the gifts that he gives me leave a lasting joy.

The Lost Supertone
Member
since 2001-01-20
Posts 74
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
3 posted 2001-01-21 12:41 PM


Oh and sorry I ment to thank you for your complement
jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
4 posted 2001-01-21 01:11 AM


wow wow wow
imagery circles my head... i love all the things you describe, even though I see tones of white outside my window... winter is still ringing...
great job

~JDR

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
5 posted 2001-01-21 01:18 AM


Yeah, aren't you all glad i introduced you to this dude?  Doesn't his writing RAWK?
Dave, we can edit our own posts, if you look around at the little buttons above them, there is an "edit post" one so you don't have to double a reply.
Just thought I'd mention that.
As for this poem, what can i say that i didn't when you first read it to me?
It's well done, i like the sheme, the way you only state nouns with a complimentary adjective.
Makes a nice effect, and allows the reader to interperet it any way that he presumes.
I hope you've figured out my SN.  ^_^
Keep it all up, Davey!  And while we're promoting musical artists, TWO TON FLOOD RULES!
-Allan

The Lost Supertone
Member
since 2001-01-20
Posts 74
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
6 posted 2001-01-21 01:31 AM


Man "Allen" one would think your trying to take credit for my work?

(David is forced to beat "allen" with a wet noddle for trying to gain points with people who like David's work)

IsGona
Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723

7 posted 2001-01-21 02:37 AM


Sorry I missed your first post... Welcom.  Nice poem here.  I must comment on something you said though:
"but while there are the deep Christians, there are also just a lot of people who kinda exist and dont' think."
Maybe I miss understand what you are saying, but ppl that are not christian do not JUST EXIST and DO THINK.  I'm sure that's not what you meant but when I read it that's what I thought so I had to say something.  So anyhow this was a great poem I really enjoyed it
~Jason

"Every body has their destiny...
I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN
~Hatebreed~

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
8 posted 2001-01-21 02:38 AM


Good job on the poem......God is #1.
Don't tell anybody though, it's our secret.

*rubs his eyes*.....oh how the blur irritates my mind......ahhhhhhhhh!!!
Yes well.......Smashing pumpkins rule....you know it, I show it, go you and me.....or not but hey.....yea

-It meant the world to hold a bruising faith- Pumpkins


I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
9 posted 2001-01-22 04:31 PM


Nice job on this poem, I liked the funny introduction too.  Keep the poems coming (I know there are more that I just haven't gotten to yet)

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

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