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Teen Poetry #4
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rough draft X 1000
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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rough draft X 1000 |
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steve New Member
since 2000-08-15
Posts 9Canada |
U know when u write something and it sounds good when you are done,.. but days later it doesn't? Ya, well.. i feel that way about this poem i just wrote. If something doesnt rhyme or whatever.. sorry. -=-=-=-=-=-=-= Forever there has been a world, Where time is but the single ruler. Where night and day, Both dark and bright, Still are but, Just finite. What once was dirt, Changed to flesh, Claimed the world, Like all the rest, Time however, Tired of this, Marched them back, Into dust. Now with passing, We believe, Live forever, Much decieved. Still we are, But the flesh and with time, meet the rest. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Stephen Seguin - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Dunno why you stopped liking this one, i personally liked it quite a bit. -Allan |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Yeah, I have done that with my own poems before. But this one is very good, the idea you share is very clear, and told so well. Great job on this one! "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I know how you feel when you like a poem one moment then dislike it the next. To be honest, I dislike EVERY SINGLE one of my poems. So yea, i liked this one though. I thought it rocked.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
welcome to passions.... i think i feel the same way about all my poetry too, there are some amazing poets around here....but with practice I guess everyone becomes execptional  keep writing and don't hesitate to post salma |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
this is a really good one I don't see the reason why you wouldn't love this i guess we are the worst critics of our own work If it makes a difference, I think this is one amazing poem thanks for the share I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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