navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » Untitle II
Teen Poetry #4
Post A Reply Post New Topic Untitle II Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
MidnightMaverick
Junior Member
since 2001-01-15
Posts 35
Duluth, MN, USA

0 posted 2001-01-19 05:55 PM


Look
See
Take heed
She who holds your heart
will fold
No
Stop
Don't look at me like
that
Clocks tick
People kiss
and hearts are broken
Days fly by without end
Stars fall
people cry
then begin again
Does it make sense
Collaborate
Collate
your life is like a
xerox
the same thing
endless
timeless
expansion
no
passion
care to give some compassion
I don't want none of
your action
You can't give me
satisfaction
i hate
you love
I love
you hate
See
Look
it's all it took
give me
what you want
don't taunt
made you look
There's no pension
or redemption
that's all
folks
it's all she wrote

© Copyright 2001 MidnightMaverick - All Rights Reserved
Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
1 posted 2001-01-19 07:20 PM


  This was a crazy format, one I really enjoyed reading. The thoughts made my mind spark to places they haven't visited in a while. Great job.
   ~Carly

inspiration of my art search for light out of the dark all the pictures in my heart lie awake there in my fog...

~sugarpie313~
Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375
Maine, USA
2 posted 2001-01-19 08:33 PM


this was awesome. i've never seen anything like this before!   i like it... I WANNA SEE MORE. hehehehe

Valerie

*...Remember your roots, my friend they're right down below, because heroes come and heroes go...* - Creed

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-01-20 01:31 AM


This was a nice one. Not your best, but the format does prove to show creativity with boosts up the poem. I thought the message was nice. Good one here.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
4 posted 2001-01-20 01:04 PM


I think this one is good, nice job on it

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
5 posted 2001-01-21 04:21 PM


the format is amazing
this is a perfect example of changing the meaning of the poem by changing the format
great work here
keep em coming
i would like to see more of this too  

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR



The Lost Supertone
Member
since 2001-01-20
Posts 74
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
6 posted 2001-01-21 04:28 PM


Very interesting poem, I really like how it flows with so many ideas and so little space.
Truely a good poem

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #4 » Untitle II

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary