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Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg

0 posted 2001-01-19 05:19 PM


(okay, okay.  I did this awhile ago, after Poet introduced that writing form for us, the one-word-at-a-time style of poem.  Intrigued me.  Here's mine.)

Breathe
Climb
Scrape
Bleed
Climb
Stop
Look
Breathe
Jump
Smile
Soar
Look
Fall
Scream
Fall
Land
Bleed
Breathe

(that's it, fellows, my first shot at it.  it is far more difficult than it looks, you should all give it a shot.)


© Copyright 2001 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved
DragonFang
Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522
Missouri, USA
1 posted 2001-01-19 06:15 PM


Hmmm.. y'know, this form seems to grow on ya... I think I will give it a shot when mood becomes a bit less bleak. Nice one BTW allan

"Sa souvraya niende missian ye." \
I am lost in my own mind.


Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2001-01-20 01:28 AM


I thought you did the style very well. I think the style in itself is extremely creative. To capture a mood or exhibit a message within a poem like this can be complicated.........but.......I think it's too easy. I wouldn't write like this even though I like it. The style is great, it's just not for me.

Allan, I think you write very well in this style. Keep it up.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

sweetypie5
Member
since 2000-10-06
Posts 97
MWC,OK,USA
3 posted 2001-01-20 03:07 AM


I'm not very familiar with this kind of poetry but it was good...maybe I will try it sometime. Keep writing!

*~*Hope is a walking dream*~*

*~*Don't take life too seriosly~~~you'll never get out alive*~*



Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
4 posted 2001-01-20 11:58 AM


Allan, hey there.
well It was very good. It reminds me of e.e. cummings, and andother poet i just dont remeber the name.
the style was flowing and so were the emotions.
Regina

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
5 posted 2001-01-20 01:45 PM


Ah, wonderful use of the form allan, I really like the poem.

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

Salooma
Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781

6 posted 2001-01-20 07:02 PM


this was really good use of that form.
i've never used it before, but it must be hard to create a meanigful piece with just few words. great job!

salma

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
7 posted 2001-01-21 05:41 PM


simpy amazing
one worded stanzas which when together makes a lot of sense
amazing

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR



The Lost Supertone
Member
since 2001-01-20
Posts 74
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
8 posted 2001-01-21 05:53 PM


Sorry, but honestly... it MOVED ME!!!  not really... OK I guess the form could be used well and could mean something... but... I think that this just... well... ack unless the tittle is very descriptive then I think that the poem loses it's effect.

Like ok
you say like

Fighting a loseing battle

Swing
slash
crash
fall
cut
bleed

and so on.  You kind of at least know what it's about.  I mean granted mine sucks, it was just put togeather in like 3 seconds.


course I may have jus tmissed the tittle and simply seem like an ignornt Jack ass who people are soon gona start chucking banana's at because he's not always complementing other people... but oh well... if people get mad at me I can just appoligse and retreat to another part of the web.

Poet on Acid
Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325
Florida, USA
9 posted 2001-01-23 01:24 AM


wow, must say I'm glad I'm not the only one venturing into unknown territory. I believe that was better than either one of mine. Keep it up man.

>¶Øʆ<

The Lost Supertone
Member
since 2001-01-20
Posts 74
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
10 posted 2001-01-23 01:29 AM


ooo the fabled poet on acid!
WOW
can I have your autograph?

Kidding... but I would like to get your opinion on my one written in a similar form called

"Swords of Decit"

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