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Teen Poetry #4
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Morouxshi San
Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 207
San Juan, Puerto Rico

0 posted 2001-01-19 02:47 PM


one poem missing from "Hardest Break-up" but ill post it later.
heres "Shining Armor" session.

forethought:
a fatal flaw in every thougth, is the assumption that you thought of it first.

-=Shining Armor=-

Chivalry he follows.
Righteous he is...
Just: his laws.

he's a dream,
when awake.
he's perfect,
when modest.

the last
knight in shining armor
fought
and lost the war.
-San



San, the wise
San, the dumb
San, the guy...

© Copyright 2001 Morouxshi San - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2001-01-19 03:13 PM


Woah felipe, woah!! I liked this one tons. Amazing. Definately a pandora edition. Kick butt, seriously. I loved the whole message, very nice one here pal. One of your best in my point of view.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Child of the Stars
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
2 posted 2001-01-19 03:32 PM


  This was a truly greatly written poem...but it it just me, or is this extremely depressing? It's like there's no point to the world anymore, cuz all the knights are lost.....sigh....
   ~Carly

inspiration of my art search for light out of the dark all the pictures in my heart lie awake there in my fog...

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
3 posted 2001-01-19 05:00 PM


San, this is nice.  I enjoyed it.
Could be a good session.
-Allan

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
4 posted 2001-01-19 09:45 PM


Really well done San! You've painted a vivid picture in my mind with this piece ... excellent closing verse, really enjoyed this!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
5 posted 2001-01-20 09:27 AM


nice... all I can see is glimmering silver armor.. great job of portraying this scene!

~JDR

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
6 posted 2001-01-20 01:35 PM


First off, nice forethought   Now the poem, oh, it's so good.  I love the thoughts you share through it, great job of writing this one!

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

Salooma
Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781

7 posted 2001-01-20 06:39 PM


wow...I gotta agree with the others, this is certainly something. you paint a clear picture....great post!

Salma

Acies
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Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
8 posted 2001-01-21 05:35 PM


Bravo San...this is a really good one
probably one of your best work
I do agree with carly about the end though
but, if that is the writers take on it,
we're gonna have to accept it  
thanks for the wonderful read

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR



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