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Teen Poetry #4
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Discombobulated Settlement
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Discombobulated Settlement |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair 
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Hmm... short verses, it's kinda cathcy. It's about the current BS Im going through... Enjoy. "Discombobulated Settlement" Maybe so. Maybe not. Should I go? Just a thought. I’m into deep, Or not enough. Thoughts that seep, Are growing rough. Flustered mind, And distress, I hide behind, In lusterless. Call or not. It’s up to you. Pursues rot. I’m in glue. Emotions stuck, Feelings vacant. I’m outta luck. Give in I can’t. J.D. Raulinaitis 1/18/01 "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde |
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| © Copyright 2001 Jeremy Daniel Raulinaitis - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
"I’m into deep, Or not enough." Jer, believe it or not.......i find those lines to be shear genius. So simple yet so much meaning. I LOVE those two lines. Call me a freak (FREAK!), but I just like the apprehensive feeling of these line. You're not sure what is what, whether you're into deep within the situation or just not enough....what's causing the problem?....you don't know. I like those lines........nice one jer.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
DD got to it before I did, but nonetheless that line is so completely true and meaningful. The entire poem was just excellent, Jeremy. I'll add it to my library, just as soon as I figure out how it works. >_< Keep it up, Jer. -Allan |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
Jer- Wow...I gotta agree with Dopey and Allan. Those two lines are definatly amazing. The whole poem is as well....loved it  Salma PS U ever wanna talk about that BS, you know where to find me....oh new email address: salamook85@yahoo.com [This message has been edited by Salooma (edited 01-19-2001).] |
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MidnightMaverick Junior Member
since 2001-01-15
Posts 35Duluth, MN, USA |
i really love the title. good job! midnight maverick |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
DISCOMBOBULATED! I simply love that word. Almost as much as I love this poem. And those two lines...BA BOOM! Way to express the BS. ~Carly inspiration of my art search for light out of the dark all the pictures in my heart lie awake there in my fog... |
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Morouxshi San Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 207San Juan, Puerto Rico |
i really liked the poem, now what i was really going to tell you bout was about "discombobulated" but Carly (ello, carly!) beat me too it, so the second thing i was going to say was about the way you express your BS but again Carly (ello again, carly!) beat me. so ill just sing you a song. *sings very nice poem really nice. i really liked it but carly stole my thoughts. San, the wise San, the dumb San, the guy... |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I love how you wrote this, it's very good man. "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
wow.. thanks, didnt know those lines were that great... thanks a lot to everyone. "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
It amazes me how these guys just find such praises for your poem Makes me feel so tiny right now for that, I'm gonna keep my mouth shut It is a good poem though JD thanks for the read I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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The Lost Supertone Member
since 2001-01-20
Posts 74Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada |
pffffff those two lines... man people, it's already been said that those two lines are great, now lets move onto the rest of them poem! Come on this poem is a kick butt poem and you guys get caught up on only two lines? i mean yeah they are a good two lines. but the rest of the poem was still very awsome. I mean like wow this is a cooo poem. Serious few poems make the evil mind picutres take contorl of my thoughts and make me forget about the music I'm listening to wile I read and this did... and if you don't understand how complementary that is... lets just say we're even for you confuseing me with the many thoughts in your peotry! |
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StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
My Turn! My turn!! Sorry I'm late! I have been so busy with being in the hospital, I have missed your wonderful work. This piece was brilliant!! You have a magnificent way with words. Hey too bad PITS fell apart huh? Oh wellers. I missed the warmth of this place. Good to see you again. ~*~Jessica~*~ *the expected escape is only a portal to true devine Hell...leave that door alone* |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
wow wow wow... thanks a lot for all the praise... i really thought that this poem was just a bunch of bunched words, thanks!!! ~JDR "Is it love in my gut, or piss in my bladder?" -Allan Riverwood |
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The Lost Supertone Member
since 2001-01-20
Posts 74Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada |
haha Jeremy I think that if I do chose to stay here to write NEW STUFF, your gona be one of the posters that I look forward to reading. I have liked... well realy all the stuff of your's that I read... even if it kinda flys past my understanding. |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
Well I agrre with DD, He's a freak!! The lines he picked actuall do show some wisdom though. But so did the whole poem. Good job... as usual ~Jason "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ |
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