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Teen Poetry #4
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Morouxshi San
Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 207
San Juan, Puerto Rico

0 posted 2001-01-18 05:35 PM


one of the few poems that youd have to figure out mayorly out from the "Hardest Breakup" sessions.

forethought:
Beauty lies in the inside, right next to your guts.

-=/=-

poor narcissists
in suicidal rage,
fallen trough the ashes
of the emotional net.

try to explain love
in human words,
why not build a bridge
from failing spells.

screaming baboons
in ecclesiastic mood,
give them the castle
it is worthless now.
-San


San, the wise
San, the dumb
San, the guy...

© Copyright 2001 Morouxshi San - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
1 posted 2001-01-18 05:39 PM


I really needed good aim with my mouse to enter this poem...
But I'm glad that I did.  This one is thought-provoking, very much so...
Screaming baboons?  Hmm...
I'm going to take some more time before conducting analysis on this one.
Thanks for the thinking to be done, San.  Good as always.
-Allan

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2001-01-18 06:38 PM


I liked this one Felipe. I thought it was good. Hey Allan liked it and he's even going to analyze it for us.......see, cuz I'm lazy. We have english homework.....Bacon, yummy. So yea.....he can analyze and i'll just pop in to see what it was all about.

You know I like the forethought.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Morouxshi San
Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 207
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-01-18 06:41 PM


yes dope. i really hope he posts the analysis also. to see if the poem got across.

San, the wise
San, the dumb
San, the guy...

TrueLUV
Member
since 2000-07-19
Posts 158
Connecticut, U.S.A.
4 posted 2001-01-18 08:08 PM


This one made put alot of thoughts in my head great piece
Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
5 posted 2001-01-19 10:59 AM


I'm gonna be honest and tell you that I don't really get this one.  Hopefully someone can analyze it for me!  

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

Acies
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Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
6 posted 2001-01-20 03:17 PM


I'll tell you what
You and Dopes alike just try to kill my brain cells with your poems
So, had anyone analized it yet?

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR



Morouxshi San
Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 207
San Juan, Puerto Rico
7 posted 2001-01-20 03:54 PM


kill braincells? oh! no, no, no! hardly! never.
thats a sin.

now if you dont use them and stuff theyll get week, so consider it a very hard workout not a killing spree.  

and i really want to see what you could come up with as possible meanings to the poem.
give it a shot


San, the wise
San, the dumb
San, the guy...

Morouxshi San
Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 207
San Juan, Puerto Rico
8 posted 2001-01-22 06:38 PM


ok ill explain since nobody wanted to be the first to do so.

-poor nacisists
-in suicidal rage.

they love themselves to the point of crazyness but still they want to end their lives.

-fallen through the ashes
-of the emotional net

the poor guys fell through the ashes (think apocalyptic destruction) of the emotional net, what kept them within the reach of reality and its coherence.

-try to explain love
-in human words,
-why not build a bridge
-from failing spells.

mostly a magical interpretation, it states that the definition of love is just BEYOND the reach of human understanding and will always be that way, therefore all the spells that magicians have tried to build the bridge (explain the phenomenon) have failed and will always fail.

-screaming baboons
-in ecleasiastic mood.

the screaming baboons could have been just about any wild animal, it just represents how anybody who does not have a clue screams and fights for whatever it is that they will never understand (everything that created the eclesiastic period) yet they just WANT IT.

-give them the castle
-it is worthless now.

a similar ending to "shining armor" in wich we the knolegable (that cant spell   ) ones have given up on trying to fix the world and have just given in to the wild ignorant ones.

recap:
those who love too much have gone crazy because their world has been torn appart, by those who try to ignorantly explain love and other unexplicable phenomenons. in their crazyness they have also given up all hope of regaining power, the power of knowledge, and have therefore abandoned the stronghold (the castle)

the title "/" is a forwardslash, as in what we have now will end and this will follow.

as complex as it gets people, haha, now i get why you think i was killing brain cells.
  
< !signature-->

San, the wise
San, the dumb
San, the guy...


[This message has been edited by Morouxshi San (edited 01-22-2001).]

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
9 posted 2001-01-23 02:35 PM


thats about as deep as Ive seen a poem.. I dont see how anyone could have analyzed that one... your such a subtle writer (good thing)

~JDR

"Is it love in my gut, or piss in my bladder?" -Allan Riverwood

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
10 posted 2001-01-23 05:46 PM


Nice one here felipe.......good explanation. I knew it all along.....just wanted to see if the others would get it...........erm......rrrrrrrrrrrright.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Greeneyes617
Member
since 2000-11-22
Posts 329
Arkansas
11 posted 2001-01-23 05:51 PM


ok I like it and everything but....this is WAY WAY to much for my brain to understand....I'll read it later and hopefully/finally understand. Thanks for posting it though.

[This message has been edited by Greeneyes617 (edited 01-23-2001).]

StarPryncess17
Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932
Colorado
12 posted 2001-01-23 05:58 PM


you know what...I'm NOT NOT NOT kidding when I tell you this. YOu have me in tears here. Takes a lot to move me this much. You are sooo right. The only true definition of love is that which does not exist. I can't believe it was possible for someone to word my thoughts in such a magnificent way. Thank you my dear, for sharing. And some advice...well not advice, just a truth for you and soon I see myself taking my own words into consideration...Time in it's own essence can heal the deepest of wounds, including the heart,soon the heartache will subside and the pain a distant memory. Yes, a scar shall remain, but that too, with time shall fade. Chin up my friend!   ~*~Jessica~*~

*the expected escape is only a portal to true devine Hell...leave that door alone*

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