Nah, that's not 'gay' acire.. I think this is beautiful.. I'm sorry, but it's good that it doesn't bother you. Some great ideas behind this one..
In terms of improvement, well the piece from "SO.." is perfect.. but I think perhaps the piece before it sounds a little.. like a filler before your ending? instead of building up to your 'point'
I think that if you spent a little time refining the introduction, perhaps concentrating on the positioning of little words like is, are, etc.. then this could be an amazing poem.
"He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened." Lao-tsu