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Teen Poetry #4
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Morouxshi San
Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 207
San Juan, Puerto Rico

0 posted 2001-01-17 06:42 PM


note 1: part of the "hardest breakup" sessions.
note 2: i didnt break up. never have.
note 3: ill be taking a vacation, maybe ill be back eventually.
note 4: this one will not be explained ever on the board. i think its pretty straight forward.

forethought:
First your heart, then the universe.
-San's plan for universal domination.

-=Seed=-

i always have flowers here,
i pick them myself.
i come here quite often,
nobody seems to mind.

i come to see Amanda,
my darling sweet heart.
we had such pleasant times.
we "bloomed" together some say.

i wonder why shes taking so long.
more than our first date.
she wore a blue dress that day.
i bought her magnolias at night.

"everything comes
to those who wait"
i heard her say,
in the rose garden one day.

nobody smiles here.
they dress like the lotus.
its been weeks,
since they planted Amanda.

I like this place,
like a big garden for amanda and me.
i always have flowers here,
i pick them myself.
-San



San, the wise
San, the dumb
San, the guy...

© Copyright 2001 Morouxshi San - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
1 posted 2001-01-17 06:48 PM


Hey, San... good poem, man.
I really liked this one-- it's good to know that it's not authentic or anything.
I often do the same, writing about experiences that I've never had.  It's great for your writing AND your empathic skills, isn't it?
I really think i would like this session, i don't believe I've seen anything else from it.
Have a nice vacation.
-Allan

Angel in Flight
Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381

2 posted 2001-01-17 06:49 PM


WOW!!!! What a powerful poem you have here!! I loved it dearly. My fav part was

"i come to see Amanda,
my darling sweet heart.
we had such pleasant times.
we "bloomed" together some say."

Wonderfully done San I just love how you.... whats the word.... oh well sorry i can not think of what i am trying to say still in awe by the poem.Keep up the work
~Amanda~

Child of the Stars
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Senior Member
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
3 posted 2001-01-17 07:43 PM


  Yes, yes, yes...once again, insanity proves to be wonderful....Sweet but oh so sad...I'm gonna miss ya...
   ~Carly

inspiration of my art search for light out of the dark all the pictures in my heart lie awake there in my fog...

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-01-17 08:07 PM


WOw, nice one here felipe. Me gusto mucho loco.........que sigues asi.


I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
5 posted 2001-01-17 09:56 PM


Im in awe over the whole flower/Amanda thingy.. great volume in your heartest breakup sessions...

~JDR

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde

Morouxshi San
Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 207
San Juan, Puerto Rico
6 posted 2001-01-18 10:08 AM


thanx fer the scarce replies.

i decided not to take vacations.
i started thinking on it yesterday, and after much pleading from Carly (and annoying comments by Dope in school, mostly during class, while drinking expired gatorade) i cant just leave the board.
not for now anyways, i kinda have a mission and chivalry prohibits me from doing that.

the Shining Armor sessions soon.


San, the wise
San, the dumb
San, the guy...

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
7 posted 2001-01-19 10:12 AM


So now you're not going on "vacation", cool   Excellent job on this one, it is straight forward but still very meaningful.  

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

Salooma
Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781

8 posted 2001-01-19 10:16 AM


good to hear your staying and i def. liked this post! very nice  

Salma

Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
9 posted 2001-01-19 10:16 AM


Whoa... forgive me for having taken that "vacation" thing literally...
I thought you were going to Hawaii or something.  ^_^
Well, I just feel like an idiot now!  Sorry for prompting that you "have a nice vacation," I honestly didn't mean to imply that you should leave.
Stick around, San.  I like reading your sessions.
-Allan

"Allan, don't ever be afraid to disappoint me" -Amanda (the most meaningful thing that has ever been said to me)



Acies
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Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
10 posted 2001-01-20 02:51 PM


very well done
don't even mind Carly, that's how she is  
This vacation thing has got me all confused  
Great post San
keep them coming

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR



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