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Teen Poetry #4
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Sonnet II - Winter Envy
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Sonnet II - Winter Envy |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair 
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This is my 2nd attempt at a sonnet. Tell me what you think. Enjoy. "Sonnet II - Winter Envy" Rain please don’t melt my snow away today, For I need somewhere to gaze and pass time. It’s lovely to see these naked trees sway, Almost as if they are dancing a sign. Maybe they’re avoiding droplets of rain. Dodging each pellet of water so quick, It comforts them and they still will sustain. Feeding their thirstiness and ridding sick, They touch each other’s limbs and greet with glee. As flakes trickle down to the soft white ground, One lands on my nose and one on my knee. When looking for me, this is where I'm found. Gather my thoughts and to think very deep, These are the pictures that I wish to keep. J.D. Raulinaitis 1/16/01 < !signature--> "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde [This message has been edited by jeremydraul (edited 01-16-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Jeremy Daniel Raulinaitis - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Nice thought. I often do envy inanimate living creatures, such as trees. They have such relaxing existences, don't they? Still, I wouldn't trade anything for the life of a human being. Great sonnet, Jeremy! -Allan Eternal life without the darkness isn't life at all- it is a lobotomy. |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
This is a beautiful sonnet, with beautiful imagery. Your wonderful writing skills are evident in this piece. Thanks for posting. "Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather "Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav |
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Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
hmmm...great imagry man. Beautiful discription of the entire scene with great attention paid to detail. Great one again man. >¶Øʆ< |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Jer: I really like this piece. That much that I am going to put it in my library. I found it really relaxing. It is going to be a good one to read when I am really stressed out. You are a fantastic writer with such a talent for creating a piece with such powerful imaginary. All I can say is Fantastic!!  ~AF~ "Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." Buddha |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
BRAVO!!! STANDING OVATION BRAVO!!! I think you just outdid yourself with this one I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
That little freak cat acire has as an icon always makes me envision him as some hyper active kid who just bounces off walls all the time haha. It's cool though.... Yea so this poem.....kinda made me think of a haiku......why?...probably the nature in it. Anyway, nice one here jer.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Hey there. This was absotively wonderful! *Stands up apploading with acire* ~Carly inspiration of my art search for light out of the dark all the pictures in my heart lie awake there in my fog... |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
Jeremy- Very nice as always. You've always been able to paint pictures with words in such a beautiful way. And even though I don't agree one bit with this winter stuff, it was a great poem as always....take care Salma |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
thanks everyone.. Salooma you need to go sledding once in a while! Dopey, funny as always, thanks Allan, lovebug, POA, af, acire, and carly thanks for the post. af Im flattered to hear that, thanks a bunch! "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Winter is fantatic and this is one of my two favorite sonnets written by you. Wait a minute..... You have done a wonderful job of capturing these images and thoughts while staying in the form, nice job "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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