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Poet on Acid
Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325
Florida, USA

0 posted 2001-01-16 04:16 PM


ok this one might get locked or even deleted, but I don't see why it should, nothing explicit or graphic or violent about it...anyways I and a friend worked on this together. You might not get it but I'm not explaining it...if it's not any good then it's my friends fault...I swear....

Slow
Gentle
Soft
Slow
Tender
Soft
Gentle
Shift
Sudden
Change
Quick
Fast
Loud
Hard
Quick
Rough
Shift
Slow
Soft
Tender
Gentle
Slow

Yes my work but with outside influences so NYAH < !signature-->

        >¶Øʆ<


[This message has been edited by Poet on Acid (edited 01-16-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Tony Ryan Johnson - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
1 posted 2001-01-16 04:23 PM


I certainly hope that this doesn't get deleted.  
Great poem, Poet.  You captured this beautifully.  I've written my poem in this form, but hesitate to post it yet.
-Allan

Eternal life without the darkness isn't life at all- it is a lobotomy.


Poet on Acid
Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325
Florida, USA
2 posted 2001-01-16 04:28 PM


I've actually found someone else who has written a poem close to this type but it was at another website and it would be wrong of me to put the address here...but it wasn't quite the same because she gave the explination at the end, I'm aiming for something that differnet people will interpret different ways....anyways thanx for the feedback and if you truly are a little skidish about postin your work then try a wee bit of revision on some of the words and see if that doesn't make you feel better with it. I really would like to see what other people are doing with "my" experiments in writing.

>¶Øʆ<

Allan Riverwood
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since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
3 posted 2001-01-16 07:22 PM


*bump
anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
4 posted 2001-01-16 07:49 PM


Poet on Acid: Great piece of writing.   I don't see why it should be banned. It captures the emotions beautifully.

Well done.

~AF~

"Poetry is the language in which man explores his own amazement."
Christopher Fry


keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
5 posted 2001-01-16 07:54 PM


Nice Poem, Poet. I don't think this should be locked. I think the meaning is obscure enough that not everyone will understand. It's not graphic at all in my mind, the again, maybe I'm just sick minded.hehe
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine

Morouxshi San
Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 207
San Juan, Puerto Rico
6 posted 2001-01-16 08:11 PM


i dont see why this should get deleted.
poet you just amaze me at how youve managed to do other lists.
"but san its not called lists"
i call them lists  
very very nice p.o.a. keep it up!


San, the wise
San, the dumb
San, the guy...

Poet on Acid
Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325
Florida, USA
7 posted 2001-01-16 08:17 PM


actually I have no name for it so Lists is better than nothing. And thanx for your intrest.

>¶Øʆ<

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
8 posted 2001-01-17 01:05 PM


This
Stop
Was
Go
Great
Done



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Alicat
Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094
Coastal Texas
9 posted 2001-01-17 01:50 PM


Good job with the format, POA. Kinda reminds me of something Max Lucado did in one of his books....think is was called 'No Wonder They Call Him the Savior', though it might have been 'Six Hours One Friday'. Memory starts to corrode after decades of reading.

I don't see any reason for removal. Personally, I think the poem is about your experiences learning how to drive a standard.  

Alicat, the Persnikitty< !signature-->

“It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most
intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.”  Charles Darwin


[This message has been edited by Alicat (edited 01-17-2001).]

Poet on Acid
Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325
Florida, USA
10 posted 2001-01-17 02:19 PM


eeek. decades of readin? well now I feel just todlerish. barely even a decade and a half old and I have people critquing my work. COOL. anyways thanx for the feedback. I'll look into that person you talked about Alicat and see what he has done, might help me get better at it myself.

>¶Øʆ<

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
11 posted 2001-01-17 09:57 PM


Nice job of writing this one

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
12 posted 2001-01-17 10:34 PM


Don't worry, you're safe with this one.  It isn't graphic enough for removal, and I happen to think it's very creative.  I liked the format, well done!  

*Krista Knutson*

I'm a slow dying flower
In a frost-killing hour
The sweet turning sour and untouchable...
-Natalie Merchant

litle_krazy_poet
Member
since 2001-01-17
Posts 71

13 posted 2001-01-17 11:40 PM


i think i lived this poem once hehehehehe lol lol lol.  and yes i'm talking about what your think.  well i like this word poem at least i think that is waht this is called

somethings need poems and then there are thoes that are just for fun

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