»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
Father (senryu)
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
Father (senryu) |
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg 
|
sitting in a chair alcohol is on his breath sorrow in his eyes Eternal life without the darkness isn't life at all- it is a lobotomy. |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
wow, powerful words there. Kinda reminds me of me... but I don't have any kids so it can't be! I'm so damn lucky...anyways it was great work, kinda depressing though but somehow a vivid image was painted with those few words. I can't believe no one else replied to this. < !signature--> >¶Øʆ< [This message has been edited by Poet on Acid (edited 01-16-2001).] |
||
|
jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
yah BUMP. Nice one dude.. very descriptive. ~JDR "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde |
||
|
anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Nice one Allan. Some powerful words written in such a tiny space. ~AF~< !signature--> "Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." Buddha [This message has been edited by anonymousfemale (edited 01-17-2001).] |
||
|
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I can really see the image here, excellent job on this. "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Very sad one here allan. I liked it a lot tho.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
||
|
Angel in Flight Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381 |
WOW allan, this reminds me of my father.... (sad sigh) wonderful senryu just makes me depresed though not your fault so dont feel bad. Just some things i dont like to remember, but then again it is most likely for the best that I do. Keep up the memories for us all to recall To do anyting LESS then your BEST is to SACRIFICE the GIFT!!! |
||
|
Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Very, very powerful one here....Great job. Jenn "If it's wrong to love you, then my heart just won't let me be right, cause I'm drowned in you, and I won't pull through without you by my side." Mari |
||
|
fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
This is a VERY photographic senryu. Is this reflective of actual events? If so, I hope that things get better. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
||
|
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Tough..very very tough. But so are you.  ~Carly "I'll take in anyone who's taking off their camouflage..." ~Third Eye Blind~Camouflage |
||
|
HeAvEnS AnGeL Member
since 2001-05-17
Posts 168The Hot Girl From Canada |
Hey sweetie wow this was a sad poem i could just picture that in my mind when i read it. It sent a shiver down my back. Makes me wonder if your okay? luv yah tons |
||
|
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
jus wonderful...i loved the powerful imagery sad yet...well written...hope to see more allan cya~...  ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" [This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 05-23-2001).] |
||
|
kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
i think it must take a lot from you to be able to write this down...the fact that this is written in the senryu from makes me ache even more... |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
