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Teen Poetry #4
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List 2 >>>experimental writing form<<<
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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List 2 >>>experimental writing form<<< |
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Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
Born Blood Search Stop Go Stop Go Search Find Time Gone Blood Stop End Die Again with the experiMENTAL stuff, I really need feedback on these, good AND bad. and If you would kinda tell me how the words made ya feel. >¶Øʆ< |
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| © Copyright 2001 Tony Ryan Johnson - All Rights Reserved | |||
Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
At first read, it confused me. I didn't really like it all that much. But, as I looked again, the words themselves are powerful, and it isn't bad, I just think more can be done with it. Great attempt at something new! xoxo Jenn "A person can never get over a broken heart if they aren't willing to let go of all of the pieces."-- ?? |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I think that I have this figured out... go, stop, go, stop, it's all so natural, and happens all too often... But "die" only happens once. Great job, once again. I'm gonna go and try this myself. Eternal life without the darkness isn't life at all- it is a lobotomy. |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
This form is very creative but it seems empty. Im not sure if it's because there are no sentences or because of the vacancy of connection. But I really like this style, keep them up. ~JDR "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde |
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Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
YES!!!! It seems empty! Allan has the right idea too. It's supposed to kinda be like life is all too many times empty and alot of it has no importance since it happens so much "go stop go stop" anyways I understand it's not all that great since my friends and I are all beginers to known poetry forms and this is like the first few of a new style so of course it will need a little polishing, but anyways thank you all for your opinions. >¶Øʆ< |
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Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
ok well I had to read it twice to establish what it made me feel... It reminded me that we are born we live and we die, what is in between is life... I am not sure what I am thinking actually, I am confused... I think the words flow together well, but it needs something in it, though I am not sure what... ummm, I will think about it and let ya know what I come up with!! Melz!! You can't hurt me anymore than I have hurt myself already... |
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Morouxshi San Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 207San Juan, Puerto Rico |
i think that it is a very good form of experimenting, i really liked it. as i kept thinking bout this i realized you need talent to write a lot of things in this style without it getting a) boring b) over used c) annoying because its listing and somebody would just start naming things that go in a sequence making it all of the above, but it can be done. have some in my mind actually. so good luck in your adventure and in your quest to changing freeverse as we know it and on screwing the literary world over with your use of verbs without the help of any other of the parts of speech.  < !signature-->San, the wise San, the dumb San, the guy... [This message has been edited by Morouxshi San (edited 01-13-2001).] |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I think San got it on the dot.......hehe Nice one here poet.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
right on man, even if these aren't the best and they don't really go anywhere if they inspire someone else to make one better or do something else thats off the wall and different then they have done all that I have wanted. >¶Øʆ< |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I think they've said it all, keep experimenting "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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