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Passions in Poetry

Allan's senryu challenge

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Acies
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0 posted 01-13-2001 12:17 PM       View Profile for Acies   Email Acies   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Acies

kindda dumb but this is all i can think off right now


Found "Passions" online
This is the day I was born
Poems is my life


sorry if that was gay  

if we are talking about my real birthday, here is the senryu for it


Crying newborn child
Felt all the pain from day one
Cursed into this hell




I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR

© Copyright 2001 acire - All Rights Reserved
Allan Riverwood
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1 posted 01-13-2001 12:35 PM       View Profile for Allan Riverwood   Email Allan Riverwood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allan Riverwood

Acire, you should do that more often!  I absolutely loved both of them.  The first I can relate to, this is definitely my first experience where I can share my feelings and thoughts with such a vast group of individuals.
The second one is powerful and pessimistic.  I love it.  ~_^
Greatly done, Acire.  I truly think that you met the challenge well.
Dopey Dope
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2 posted 01-13-2001 01:14 PM       View Profile for Dopey Dope   Email Dopey Dope   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dopey Dope

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha The second one was good acire, but I'm laughing at your own comment about the first one "sorry if that was gay".....haha that was funny.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily
Angel in Flight
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3 posted 01-13-2001 02:17 PM       View Profile for Angel in Flight   Email Angel in Flight   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Angel in Flight

I believe you met the challenge very well.
I just love your first one I feel that way also, and about your second i feel that way alot so it makes me very sad that others feel that way to. Great job though.
~Amanda~

[This message has been edited by Angel in Flight (edited 01-13-2001).]
Jenn Cirrincione
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4 posted 01-13-2001 03:33 PM       View Profile for Jenn Cirrincione   Email Jenn Cirrincione   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jenn Cirrincione

Very good Acire. Sometimes we all feel like that, one day there will be a ray of sunshine in your hell. Good luck!
xoxo
Jenn


"A person can never get over a broken heart if they aren't willing to let go of all of the pieces."-- ??

jeremydraul
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State of Despair


5 posted 01-13-2001 04:49 PM       View Profile for jeremydraul   Email jeremydraul   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for jeremydraul

lol I was also laughing at your own comment...
i liked the 2nd more because it showed me how you feel about this world and your life.

~JDR

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde
Melster
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6 posted 01-13-2001 06:25 PM       View Profile for Melster   Email Melster   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Melster's Home Page   View IP for Melster

That was great, you really should do that more often, they are not at all gay...  keep it up...

Melz!!

You can't hurt me anymore than I have hurt myself already...
kaile
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7 posted 01-14-2001 04:10 AM       View Profile for kaile   Email kaile   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for kaile

i liked the simple, straight-to-the-point way in which you penned these senryus..makes me more able to relate to and identify with
Acies
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8 posted 01-14-2001 07:02 PM       View Profile for Acies   Email Acies   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Acies

thanks for the nice words guys and girls  

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR

Elizabeth
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9 posted 01-14-2001 11:08 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

They're both cool....I joined 6-7-99, so in that sense we share a birthday! The second one reminded me of another poem, called "Birthday," and descibing the birth of a child and comparing it to jumping into enemy territory. The last lines went, "Sentenced me to life. I guess I deserved it." LOL!
Lakewalker
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On the streets w/ people


10 posted 01-16-2001 07:11 PM       View Profile for Lakewalker   Email Lakewalker   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lakewalker

Excellent job on both of these.  I liked in jenn's reply: "one day there will be a ray of sunshine in your hell."  

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com
Child of the Stars
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11 posted 01-16-2001 08:35 PM       View Profile for Child of the Stars   Email Child of the Stars   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Child of the Stars

   Hey there. I liked these much much. I was smirking about Jenn's comment too..hehe...Well keep sharing. We luv ya!!!
    ~Carly

inspiration of my art search for light out of the dark all the pictures in my heart lie awake there in my fog...
Acies
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12 posted 01-17-2001 04:56 PM       View Profile for Acies   Email Acies   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Acies

thanks  

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR

Suga_Baby
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13 posted 01-27-2001 02:54 PM       View Profile for Suga_Baby   Email Suga_Baby   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Suga_Baby

I'm not exactly sure what senryu's are (meaning how they are supposed to be written and stuff)
but these were pretty cool *L* and funny too!
anonymousfemale
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Limbo


14 posted 09-08-2001 07:27 AM       View Profile for anonymousfemale   Email anonymousfemale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for anonymousfemale

Hey Mister.

I didn't like the first one very much but the second I could really connect with. Three simple lines but you express so much. You need to write MANY of these. You do them very well.  

~AF~

"Kelly's my Hero!" "No, Kelly's your heroine." "Kelly has heroin??" "What?"

 
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