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| Teen Poetry #4 |
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List >>>Experimental writing form<<< |
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Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
A few writer friends of mine and me are working on something, sorta kinda poetry but not really. We are trying to just put down a list of words that invoke some sort of strong emotion in the reader. No real message or storyline just well I don't know but I was hoping to get some feedback from someone outside my little self absorbed circle. Just tell me if the following does anything for you. Heartbeat Whispers Slows Pale Fingers Love Arrow Wounds Walls Ears Cheek Eyelashes Heartbeat Stop Yeah yeah I know, not anything splenderous about it but hey, we're teenagers with no lives. We have a right to experiment!!< !signature--> >¶Øʆ< [This message has been edited by Poet on Acid (edited 01-12-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Tony Ryan Johnson - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Nice, nice, nice! A great idea, kind of the ultimately restrictive poem? No sentences, just an arrangement of single words... i must say that it interests me. Once I regain my writing edge, I shall give it a go. Until then, you all go ahead. I love the idea. -Allan Eternal life without the darkness isn't life at all- it is a lobotomy. |
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Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
hey thanx man, I'm glad it's not just a group of kids with mental problems that are intersted in the idea. We just view words as another form of art. Which makes this abstract? I dunno, anyways thanx for your input, I personally consider your opinion to be professional. >¶Øʆ< |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Is this gonna be another string of exchanges between the two of us, poet? ~_^ Thanks for the compliment. [This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 01-12-2001).] |
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Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
well if I don't complete this reply then no it wont be, but since I'm going to it looks like it might end up that way...isn't it kinda cruel though to make it look like a whole bunch of people commented on this poem when only 2 people are replying?< !signature--> >¶Øʆ< [This message has been edited by Poet on Acid (edited 01-12-2001).] |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Hey, great poem! i LOVED it! Keep up the good work! *there, that wasn't me, it was the person next to me. A whole bunch of people, ne? Eternal life without the darkness isn't life at all- it is a lobotomy. |
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Angel in Flight Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381 |
LOL to the both of you. Poet on Acid I like the way you and your friends wrote this it is very different and much like Allan i wish to try this someday soon. Tell your friends to keep up this wonderful way of expressing yourselfs. [This message has been edited by Angel in Flight (edited 01-12-2001).] |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
im glad to see new things keep it up ~JDR "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde |
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Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
Just thought I would add a different name in here besides yours and Allans... This is differnt and I like the way you have come up with this... it is great... I hope you decide to let us see more of these as I really enjoyed it... it sorta got my mind thinking about a lot of things that should have been done years ago... Thanks... Melz!! You can't hurt me anymore than I have hurt myself already... |
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Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
I would just like to give 'credit' where it's due. This work is all mine and totally original because I thought it up myself, but the poem "Heart Whispers" by Bright_Eyes a few posts ago did help to inspire me. Basically after reading her poem I got a few ideas. Just didn't want to take full credit for this. >¶Øʆ< |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I thought this was nice. I liked the idea. Pretty creative. The ending especially. Very good........impacting.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I read your second one before this one, but oh well. I think these are good, keep experimenting with things  "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
This really isn't bad at all. Kudos. heheActually, the words did kind of flow together. Keep trying new things! xoxo Jenn< !signature--> "A person can never get over a broken heart if they aren't willing to let go of all of the pieces."-- ?? [This message has been edited by Jenn Cirrincione (edited 01-16-2001).] |
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Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
wow, in my efforts to push all the old poems of other people back up to the top I have pushed mine down...we can't have that now can we? And thanx everyone for your feed back on my disfigurment of the poetic arts. It lets me know I'm not alone! >¶Øʆ< |
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