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Teen Poetry #4
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Allan Riverwood
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since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg

0 posted 2001-01-11 11:32 PM


no more need for this...
I'm humiliated at this feeble attempt.  I apoligize.



[This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 01-12-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved
Melster
Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442
Brisbane, Qld, Australia
1 posted 2001-01-12 01:50 AM


Allan that is soo beautiful, the words are just soo imaginable if you know what I mean, I have a vibrant image of metal hinges rusting and lips as cold as steel...  this is soo wonderful, you have a great talent, keep up the great work...

Melz!!


Dont believe what ur eyes r telling u they only show limitation. Look with ur understanding, find out what u already know & u will see the way to fly

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
2 posted 2001-01-12 10:10 AM


You do have a very imaginative mind
But to tell you the truth, I'm half way in the dark here
I can't seem to understand why you describe yourself as metal, or some kind of robot
I'd appreciate a little explanation, so i can read the poem again, and put more sense into it

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR


Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-01-12 01:21 PM


Allan, I'm going to have to agree that this is not up to what I'm used to seeing, however, this was extremely creative. I liked the overall theme....good job on it.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
4 posted 2001-01-12 02:31 PM


even though its not the same, at least you tried something new!
very unique.. give us some hints on this one plz.

~JDR

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
5 posted 2001-01-12 03:55 PM


I guess this one just didn't do anything for me.  I hope you don't mind me saying that.

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
6 posted 2001-01-12 05:47 PM


it was very differnt. but good job anyway. but hey its just me..the little one.
well g2g
Regina

Allan Riverwood
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since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
7 posted 2001-01-12 06:18 PM


Yeah, the only reason I posted this one was to make sure that you aren't my mindless "yes" men telling me that everything I do is good.
Mission accomplished, I feel better about myself.
I'm not posting any more of this crap, sleep easy. ~_^
-Allan

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