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Teen Poetry #4
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Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

0 posted 2001-01-11 09:01 PM


NOTE: Ok guys, sorry.......I despise this poem with passion. Why? The last line. *vomits* Seriously, i KNOW this is not my best so you don't have to tell me. This is just a post for the sake of a post. Read if you dare:


Hitting Speed Bumps:


Silence spoken without a thought.
We're shaded with a love of rot.
It seems hostility slowly came
With problems and simple blame.

Someday though we'll fully unite.
Smiling knowing it was right.
The problems come and problems go,
But you and I will always flow.





I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

© Copyright 2001 Pepe de la Muerte - All Rights Reserved
Angel in Flight
Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381

1 posted 2001-01-11 09:09 PM


Very interseting poem you have here, but after getting past that it is a rather well written poem and i like it a very lot. Keep posting

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
2 posted 2001-01-11 09:44 PM


i didnt think the last line was bad at all..
kinda compares you and her to poetry, which is quite beautiful
good job bud

~JDR

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
3 posted 2001-01-11 10:01 PM


Hmm... not bad at all.
Don't be so hard on yourself.  We don't always impress ourselves with our own work.

Eternal life without the darkness isn't life at all- it is a lobotomy.


Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
4 posted 2001-01-11 10:05 PM


Certainly not your best, but it's still good   You mean you can post just for the sake of posting?  hmmm......< !signature-->

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com


[This message has been edited by Lakewalker (edited 01-11-2001).]

Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
5 posted 2001-01-11 10:43 PM


You could learn a thing or two, Lake.  
I do it as well, it's quite catchy.  ~_^

Eternal life without the darkness isn't life at all- it is a lobotomy.


DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
6 posted 2001-01-11 10:51 PM


i liked it, really..it wasn't bad at all. and i post all the time just for the sake of posting   keep it up babe

*dq


¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤

Melster
Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442
Brisbane, Qld, Australia
7 posted 2001-01-12 02:21 AM


This is great Dopey, you are way to hard on yourself!!  Keep up the great work!!

Melz!!!

You can't hurt me anymore than I have hurt myself already...

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
8 posted 2001-01-12 01:37 PM


Thanks all........


I wish I was special- radiohead



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
9 posted 2001-01-12 06:06 PM


cmon, it was good. not your best. but still very good
Regina

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
10 posted 2001-01-19 02:42 PM


i don't think it's bad at all
i think the whole poem was good all in all
i don't see naything wrong Dopes
keep em coming

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR



sweetypie5
Member
since 2000-10-06
Posts 97
MWC,OK,USA
11 posted 2001-01-20 03:04 AM


Yo it was good!!! Don't be soo hard on urself!! Oh yeah go read the poem me and sweetstuff wrote dedicated to you!!! Buh bye! Keep writing!

*~*Hope is a walking dream*~*

*~*Don't take life too seriosly~~~you'll never get out alive*~*



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