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Teen Poetry #4
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( allen's challenge)
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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( allen's challenge) |
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Angel in Flight Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381 |
Everyone this was very difficult for me to do( trying to make a long story short that is) so this is the best i came up with. Born by a mistake. A child with tremendous tears Now to many fears. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Amanda - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Angel, this is so sorrowful and yet beautiful at the same time. What a wonderful addition to the challenge, very nicely done!  Best wishes, /Kit |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I hear ya pal......I hear ya.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
very sad... and yet so short very good job ~JDR "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Shortness can add power to your words, great job on this one. "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
.....and I like it too! Good job! So many of us feel this way about our births, it is disturbing. Eternal life without the darkness isn't life at all- it is a lobotomy. |
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Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
Soo many of us are accidents, but I don't think our parents would ever take us back - though that would be a lil difficult!!! Melz!! You can't hurt me anymore than I have hurt myself already... |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I've read you other posts and they were short too But they were indeed overflowing with meaning So, I don't see the reason why you would have a hard time on this  Keep em coming I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Angel in Flight Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381 |
Kit~thank you for your kind word. Dopey~I find we have very much in common day by day. I am glaid someone hears me. Jeremy~sad yes but not all births are happy like people aways seem to say. lakewater~ I like what you said alot and I have been thinking about that when i write now.Thank you Allan~very disterbing indeed. It is so said that I was made by a mistake so i have been told and it shows what a great mistake i truly am, but thats ok just means no one will be like I. Melser~lol I know my parents wont take me back. They were the ones that gave me away. lol your so cute. thanks for the laugh Acrie~ short but powerful i like that alot, but this one was actually very hard to make so short as i did. thank you for your thoughts |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
hi angel, like the others, i am amazed at how powerful your senryu..i am disturbed by the words.."a mistake"...very haunting.... never regard yourself as a mistake..if your other poems are as fine as this, then you at least serve a purpose--to let the rest of us know the world better through your eyes... |
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Angel in Flight Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381 |
Kaile, Well first off thank you for saying my senryu is powerful. And infact I WAS born by a mistake. My parents never intended to have, and my mother never wanted to have a child she just did. So when i was born they gave me up for adoption because they said i was a "mistake" There is alot to the story but just wanted to explain in someway or another i am in fact "a mistake" in some ones eyes. |
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