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Teen Poetry #4
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keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC

0 posted 2001-01-11 07:35 PM



I lay in bed and watch you sleep
Moments like this I treasure, these memories I keep
Don’t want you to wake yet and start a new day
A day of school and work, go our separate way
I want to take you in my arms and hold you tight
Keep you through the day so you spend another night
When you lay there next to me in my bed
My worries are gone, morning’s all I dread
Before you, night was there just to follow day
Now the only lonely night is when you don’t stay

Just one more kiss before I go
Cause your touch is like heaven and baby you know
That every moment we’re apart is like an eternity
And I won’t feel whole till you return to me

My life was empty, I was alone
Until the day I brought you home
We closed the door, turned out the light
Cuddled up and it just felt right
You and me, lying there, snuggled close together
Makes me think of you and me making it forever
This feeling is one I’ve never had before
You came into my life and unlocked so many doors
Don’t worry about the rest because you found the key to my heart
That’s why I pray this night will last forever, and morning never start

Just one more kiss before I go
Cause your touch is like heaven and baby you know
That every moment we’re apart is like an eternity
And I won’t feel whole till you return to me



"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine

© Copyright 2001 Jon - All Rights Reserved
Morouxshi San
Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 207
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2001-01-11 07:38 PM


very nice poem.
i really liked it, fear of loosing someone, for 10 hours.

a lot happens in 10 hours.

i also liked your reply to tamma's poem (dont know how its called) couldnt reply there for personal reasons.


San, the wise
San, the dumb
San, the guy...

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2001-01-11 08:24 PM


This was great.......is San replied it must be haha and i read it and liked it.
Oh and keoni.....nice one for not being a hypocrit hehe.


I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
3 posted 2001-01-11 09:31 PM


nice work my friend...
i cant relate to what your describing but I know it means a lot to you
hope that your nights with her never end
nice job

~JDR

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde

Melster
Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442
Brisbane, Qld, Australia
4 posted 2001-01-12 04:02 AM


Great work here, you have expressed well the fear of morning and moving onto the days expectations...

Melz!!

You can't hurt me anymore than I have hurt myself already...

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
5 posted 2001-01-12 01:41 PM


So very well said here, I think you captured the feelings very well.

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
6 posted 2001-01-12 04:32 PM


Thanks for the replies, even Dopey's sarcastic one!
Jon


"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
7 posted 2001-01-12 06:01 PM


hey there.
it was very good, just one more kiss, sometimes thats all we will get. sigh....there was a lot of good emotions, keep it up.
Regina

keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
8 posted 2001-01-12 07:42 PM


Thanx Regina, it's good to hear from you

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine

DragonFang
Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522
Missouri, USA
9 posted 2001-01-12 08:16 PM


Very nice poem. Imidiately made me think of my gf (just take out the whole spending the night thing anyway  ) anyway, I like this poem very much.

"Sa souvraya niende missian ye." \
I am lost in my own mind.


GirlsBestFriend
Member
since 2000-12-27
Posts 71
Planet Earth
10 posted 2001-01-13 06:25 AM


nice job! good luck.

~lotsa luv


"Isn't it funny how to the world you are nothing? But then to one person..you're the world"

~sugarpie313~
Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375
Maine, USA
11 posted 2001-01-13 08:00 PM


This poem is so good. i think everyone can relate to it on a personal basis.   Even me!!!   hehehehe  great job, i always love your work. ttyl

~valerie~

*...Remember your roots, my friend they're right down below, because heroes come and heroes go...* - Creed

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
12 posted 2001-01-14 12:50 PM


Wow... excellent poem Keoni.  I'd say more, but I'm at a loss for words.  Really touching.

Eternal life without the darkness isn't life at all- it is a lobotomy.


DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
13 posted 2001-01-14 01:12 AM


wow~ i really liked this. wish i had someone like that   Keep up the great work tho

*dq


¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
14 posted 2001-01-21 03:30 PM


though i'm a failed romantic, i still say that this is very romantic
I've never had that in my life, the chance to watch someone sleep and thoughts just run thru you
It's either i fall asleep first, or i wake up last  
still, beautiful poem......very beautiful

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR



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