»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
Reflecting on the Water's Edge
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
Reflecting on the Water's Edge |
|
|
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people 
|
Reflecting on the Water's Edge Walk down the street and get a friendly wave, take a long second look at the smile she gave, stop for a moment just to think it through, oh, truly girl, if you only knew. I see the lake and a crowded beach, with days like this, perfection’s within reach, the sand’s as hot as the sky is blue, glad it’s no mirage and all this is true. The sights of nature are all around, and feet on the pier shuffle and pound, there’s something beautiful in her smile, wait, that was back there, almost a mile. To buy some ice cream, I wait in line, but when her eyes were locked with mine, wait, come on now, that moment’s past, why in my memory does she last? Walking slowly back towards town, thinking hard, I’m just feeling down, see her walking out of a store, I smile back as she waves once more. December 28, 2000 This isn't at all deep but I'm happy enough with it, please tell me what you honestly think  I edited this so that I could add that sadly, this isn't a true story. oh well.< !signature--> "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com [This message has been edited by Lakewalker (edited 01-11-2001).] |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Lakewalker - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY WE GOT A POST FROM THE MASTERMIND HIMSELF! Ok.. lemme calm down, but my hearts racing. Great one lake! the flow was incredible.. dont you love the feeling when they smile and wave keep posting my friend! ~JDR "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde |
||
|
Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
Wow! I think its nice when ppl smile back and wave at me and i feel special. The flow was incredible, the image you gave was very clear and vivid. Its not often you post, so its a real treat to see when its there. Why dont u post more often? Regina those who love us,will always love us.those who hate us,may g-d turn their hearts,if he cant may he turn their ankles so we can see them by their limp |
||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
You write a nice story in this one! I have been there, believe me, when you just see someone that appeals to you. You think that, for whatever reason, you should talk to this person. Even though your rationality defies the concept, you still feel the urge to pursue... I think that you probably have had an experience like this before, just not exactly as written. The textbooks call it "puberty."   Keep up the good work, Lake! I love your poetry! And so does everyone else! |
||
|
Morouxshi San Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 207San Juan, Puerto Rico |
jeremy calm down lake, i loved this poem. i know exactly what youre talking about. xept that mostly i ask my self "what the hell is she smiling about?" and its probably somebody i forgot i knew, but thats a diffrent story. yeah its the same san as 2 months ago, in case you wonder. San, the wise San, the dumb San, the guy... |
||
|
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Great emotions and expression in this Lake ... you draw the reader right in, and the flow is terrific, nice work! Best wishes, /Kit |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Nice one lake. Very good. I liked the flow and the theme here. Very well put.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
||
|
Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
*Waves and Smiles at Everyone* Ok well I am always seen embarrassing my friends when we are out waving at guys out the window or walking past... it brightens up the day!! Great Poem though Lake... keep it up, we all love reading your work!! Melz!! You can't hurt me anymore than I have hurt myself already... |
||
|
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Thank you all for your replies, I'm glad you liked this one. Are there anymore before this falls off into the abyss of poetry? "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
||
|
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Yepperoonies, right here. Lake, oh lake. I just can't help but love your stuff. Sweet story, sorry to hear it wasn't true. And thank you for doing what you do. Stay you. ~Carly inspiration of my art search for light out of the dark all the pictures in my heart lie awake there in my fog... |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
you are one reallo great story teller that's what i have to say I'm am totally amazed by this piece one of your best ones Lake probably you best even great share I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
||
|
MidnightMaverick Junior Member
since 2001-01-15
Posts 35Duluth, MN, USA |
A wave and a smile make anyones day. Keep up the good work Lake. Midnight Maverick |
||
|
sweetypie5 Member
since 2000-10-06
Posts 97MWC,OK,USA |
DDDDDDUUUUUUDDDDEEEE!!!!! That was really really good!!! You should write more often!!! I love this poem! It kinda describes how everyone feels at one time! Keep writing! You stuff is really really good! *~*Hope is a walking dream*~* *~*Don't take life too seriosly~~~you'll never get out alive*~* |
||
|
IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
hmmm... I like it. Left me hanging a bit, not that that is bad. You were given a second chance but did you wave back this time, get her number, or just keep waling? OMG I can't handle it... hehe jk... nice job ~Jason oops... Had to come back and edit. I miss read this didn't I. You didn't actually see her twice. Well once for real and then the second time was just you replaying it in your head...er you know what I mean. I can't seem to write logicly right now. So whatever. GOOD POEM < !signature--> "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ [This message has been edited by IsGona (edited 01-21-2001).] |
||
|
GirlsBestFriend Member
since 2000-12-27
Posts 71Planet Earth |
awesome job! we finally read something written by Lake? this is true. post more to us, Lake, and good luck! ~lotsa luv "Isn't it funny how to the world you are nothing? But then to one person..you're the world" |
||
|
Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Thank you all for the replies, I'm glad you like it. Jason, you had it right the first time, that's what I was going for anyway. It was supposed to be that I saw her again, but then you read deeper into than I intended. I see what you're saying though, I never noticed that before. Thanks for pointing it out "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
