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Teen Poetry #4
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Bright_Eyes
Junior Member
since 2000-12-22
Posts 29
Plymouth, MN

0 posted 2001-01-11 10:25 AM


Even the sunshine dares to smile,
at this confused teenager,
amidst her minor despairs and stresses.

Even flowers dare to bloom,
and grace her with their presence,
in her times of self-hate.

And in the times when she feels,
there's no one left that cares,
even the wind dares to caress her cheek.

Why, oh why,
can't you?

~Becky

© Copyright 2001 Rebecca Peterson - All Rights Reserved
Baby Gansta
Junior Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 24

1 posted 2001-01-11 12:53 PM


Wow! A sad put a very beautiful poem with a powerful ending.  Sometimes people will look at you but not see you, and that's just blindness, stupidity and their loss! keep smiling Becky  
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2001-01-11 01:54 PM


Wow I really liked this poem. So touching....wow......very impressive here. The ending left me with a sigh and kind of a hallow feeling on the inside. Like.....since you're not getting this person to carress your cheek, to love you......neither was I. Very touching poem.....


I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
3 posted 2001-01-11 01:57 PM


Humanity cowers in the face of nature...
comparing a person to what your environment does.  I'm curious if the forces of nature are metaphors for other people... this thought lingers in my head.
Great poem, either way.  ^_^
-Allan

LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

4 posted 2001-01-11 03:58 PM


We all need people there for us during this harsh time of our lives. I hope you know that your Passions family will always be there!!   Thanks for sharing.

"Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather
"Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav



jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
5 posted 2001-01-11 04:10 PM


wow the poem really climaxed at the end..
a truely perfect ending for a great poem
nice job

~JDR


"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde

Lakewalker
Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people
6 posted 2001-01-11 09:16 PM


I really like the way this is written too, the ending has such power written into it.  Great job of making the reader really feel this one!

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

Melster
Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442
Brisbane, Qld, Australia
7 posted 2001-01-12 05:57 AM


This was such a sad poem...  soo much is being kept inside...  I hope that you can come out and talk to someone soon!

Good work...

Melz!!

You can't hurt me anymore than I have hurt myself already...

LoVe2PaRtY469
New Member
since 2001-01-10
Posts 5

8 posted 2001-01-12 08:03 AM


I really like this poem a lot.. sometimes I just really want someone to reach out and help me, I totally relate. Very well written and as everyone else said the end is very powerful!!

Ashlie

Poet on Acid
Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325
Florida, USA
9 posted 2001-01-12 01:13 PM


wow. great poem. great imagery as well. Keep writing.

>¶Øʆ<

Bright_Eyes
Junior Member
since 2000-12-22
Posts 29
Plymouth, MN
10 posted 2001-01-12 09:09 PM


Allan~ I wasn't thinking of them as metaphors for other people, but I love to hear other interpretations.  Thank you!

Thanks babygangsta, dopey dope and lovebug and melster for your kind words... they mean a lot.

Thanks to everyone else as well!  

Bright_Eyes
Junior Member
since 2000-12-22
Posts 29
Plymouth, MN
11 posted 2001-01-12 09:09 PM


Allan~ I wasn't thinking of them as metaphors for other people, but I love to hear other interpretations.  Thank you!

Thanks babygangsta, dopey dope and lovebug and melster for your kind words... they mean a lot.

Thanks to everyone else as well!  

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
12 posted 2001-01-20 11:51 PM


It really makes me feel bad to see how other hurt
Your poem just shows this and more
Beautiful poem, though a little sad
thanks for the beautiful read
keep sharing

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR



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