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Open Poetry #12
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snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS

0 posted 2001-03-19 08:31 PM




yesterday, I walked to the edge of logic...
stretched it as far as it would go,
but still, it didn’t make any sense...
why aren’t you here?

today, I looked at my reflection in the water...
even swirled it around to distort the picture,
but, still, I did not understand...
why was my face the only one staring back at me?

tonight, I tried counting the countless stars...
even grabbed a few for my heart’s shine,
still it didn’t add up...
dear love, where are you?

I try to rhyme...I attempt to reason;
I think it to death...I completely ignore it;
all is absolute madness, my precious...
just ease this chaos...pull me close and bridge this distance.

-kh 03/19/01

to be with you...
I've tried to hide my passion,
but it's just no use...
piece by piece I lose it
when you walk into the room...

© Copyright 2001 snowpants - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
1 posted 2001-03-19 08:35 PM


(tears falling down my cheeks) Oh dear friend, I can feel such pain and loneliness in this poem! I am so sorry to hear of your emptiness. I feel that way a lot too, for I still haven't found my first love. But I do know that everyone has a true love in this world, and you will definitely find your significant other. I pray with all my heart that you find all the love and light your heart longs for. You have such a beautiful heart, dear friend, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Mabel A. Dilley
Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 859
Seattle, WA, USA
2 posted 2001-03-19 08:46 PM


Distance is like a stone beneath the water. The pieces keep floating up for years. A very yearning poem and one that tells of lonleliness rather than aloneness. I loved the part when you distorted the image staring back at you in the water. Good writing.

"I am not now that which I have been."

JLR
Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785

3 posted 2001-03-19 09:02 PM


Really like the whole poem, but especially the last verse.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2001-03-20 03:35 PM


tonight, I tried counting the countless stars...
even grabbed a few for my heart’s shine,
still it didn’t add up...
dear love, where are you?

I try to rhyme...I attempt to reason;
I think it to death...I completely ignore it;
all is absolute madness, my precious...
just ease this chaos...pull me close and bridge this distance.
===============================

so many questions poetically pondered...
very cool write sp ..
love the inner conflict...the yen and yang of this.

"tonight, I tried counting the countless stars...
even grabbed a few for my heart’s shine,"
love the imagery and premise in this line..
way cool
great writing ... keep on trying to find reason in the rhyme

We wish ourselves beautiful,
we cry in the night.
Its not the love you fear ...
its the fall from the height.
~Edwin McCain~

kitkat
Senior Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 878
Nova Scotia
5 posted 2001-03-20 04:54 PM


My tears fall for you. I understand the feeling in this poem. {{hugs}}
walker
Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240
Florida
6 posted 2001-03-20 06:12 PM


I feel for you, my friend. Well expressed!

A quarter of a century must pass, for the writer to understand what and why he writes.

snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
7 posted 2001-03-20 07:40 PM


Noah: oh, my friend...thank you for your sympathy...but it isn't exactly emptiness...I do have a loved one, but he happens to be far away right now, so it isn't THAT bad, I guess...but I do appreciate your kind words! Thank you!!

Julian: thank you, my friend, for your wonderful reply! I am glad you liked this!

JLR: thanks so much! Glad you enjoyed this!!

JM: hey you! yes, quite the ponderings, indeed! this is actually something that popped into my head at around 4 in the morning...I just woke up and couldn't ignore it...now THAT hasn't happened in a while! But, thank you so much, my friend, for your compliments! It's great to know you liked this!!

kitkat: thanks for the hugs! I am glad you could stop by!

walker: thank you, my friend, for your reply...I am glad you liked it!!

sp

to be with you...
I've tried to hide my passion,
but it's just no use...
piece by piece I lose it
when you walk into the room...

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
8 posted 2001-03-22 02:39 PM


Such powerful yearning... so well written! *S*
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