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Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

0 posted 2001-03-18 02:19 PM

sleep now lonely one
gone the sun
dreams will come
when day is done

when day is done
sleep now lonely one
gone the sun
dreams will come

dreams will come
when day is done
sleep now lonely one
gone the sun

gone the sun
dreams will come
when day is done
sleep now lonely one

sleep now lonely one
gone the sun
dreams will come
when day is done

----------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

JLR
Senior Member

since 2001-02-04

Posts 1785

1 posted 2001-03-18 02:26 PM

That was cool...and comforting. Thanks!

Mabel A. Dilley
Senior Member

since 2001-03-17

Posts 859
Seattle, WA, USA

2 posted 2001-03-18 02:29 PM

What a lovely Pantoum. A form not easily mastered. I shall close my eyes and dream yet of sunrise.

"I am not now that which I have been."

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

3 posted 2001-03-18 03:05 PM

I decided to comment on this when I woke up! Marvelous arrangement of those four lines Sven....clever!!

The poet is like a cocoon; in him the caterpillar of the past finds rest, and from him the butterfly of the future emerges.

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant

since 2000-06-17

Posts 5546
missouri

4 posted 2001-03-18 03:08 PM

Oh Sven...this is amazing...just four lines that say so much...wonderful

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

5 posted 2001-03-18 03:13 PM

so sweet the lullabye....

Lady Ollyne
Member

since 2001-01-08

Posts 337
East Coast

6 posted 2001-03-18 04:37 PM

When thou sleeps away the lonely
as the dark brings rise to moon
come the dreams of new tomorrows
filled with yesterdays attune

Lovely Sir Sven,
Lady Ollyne

"O, learn to read what silent love hath writ:
To hear with eyes belongs to love's fine wit"...Shakespeare

Just A Woman
Senior Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 507

7 posted 2001-03-18 11:33 PM

Very very soothing. Leaves one longing to be tucked into bed. Lovely, Sven.

"When people show you who they are, believe them"

~Maya Angelou~

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant

since 2000-04-26

Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

8 posted 2001-03-19 07:35 AM

Great Work, O Sir Sven.....

Many regards,
sudhir

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

9 posted 2001-03-19 01:08 PM

JLR, thank you. . . glad that I could provide some comfort. . .

Julian, I don't think that this qualifies as a Pantoum, but thank you for dreaming. . .

ethome, thanks. . . it's just something that I've been working with. . . glad that you enjoyed. . .

Paula, thank you my friend. . .

Sunshine, listen my friend. . . thank you. . .

Lady Ollyne, a thousand thanks Poet Fair. . . indeed there will always be new tomorrows. . .

Just a Woman, I've been thinking about that. . . I'll let you know what I find out. . .

. . . thank you my friend. . .

Sudhir!! Welcome back great Knight!! Thank you as always my friend. . .

------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

10 posted 2001-03-20 08:43 PM

*sigh* awwww sweet dreams....this is lovely my friend....

Greeneyes~

***

"Within you I lose myself
Without you I find myself
Wanting to be lost again."
-Unknown

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

11 posted 2001-03-21 06:46 PM

I must agree with all the previous comments. Lovely. And indeed a lullabye.
Sandra

Tennessee Angel
Senior Member

since 2000-06-03

Posts 661
Tennessee

12 posted 2001-03-21 06:50 PM

With just four lines,
spirit divine,
and words so kind,
You eased my mind..
______________________

Lovely, Sven!

Saunni
Senior Member

since 2000-07-11

Posts 1777
West Virginia

13 posted 2001-03-21 07:29 PM

This is really cool! Wish I could write like that. Great work, My Friend.

Sauni

Sauni :)
Have you ever known the color grey when the nighttime finds you weak
I have, I've walked that road each time; that's where my angel sleeps

walker
Member Elite

since 2001-02-11

Posts 2240
Florida

14 posted 2001-03-21 07:48 PM

Not too many people can get away with that,

only talented poets like you. This was awesome to read. Thanks for sharing!

A quarter of a century must pass, for the writer to understand what and why he writes.

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

15 posted 2001-03-21 08:03 PM

Greeneyes, thank you my friend. . . I'm glad that you enjoyed. . .

Sandra, now if I could have some music for this. . . thank you. . .

Tennessee Angel, thank you . . . glad that I could help ease your mind. . .

Sauni, I've already told you that you can. . . (: thank you my friend. . .

walker, thank you reading my friend. . . and most people can get away with this. . .

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

16 posted 2001-03-22 05:17 PM

*sigh* and sometimes even the dreams are not enough. I suppose we all need a little sunshine to let us know there is still light within though. See? You have me babbling when all I'd really like to say is that I adore this!

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