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Open Poetry #12
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Trillium
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since 2001-03-09
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Idaho, USA

0 posted 2001-03-15 05:03 PM


For the nature's majesty challenge.


Where mountains rise to awesome heights
And strange aurora gifts the nights,
In colored ribbons, twisting high,
To unheard tempos in the sky,
It's there that magic seems to dwell
And casts an ancient, feral spell.
Upon some tall ledge, with a view,
We camp and watch the whole night through.
Absorbing beauty all around
And listening to hear each sound
That drifts upon the chilly air.
The cougar in his rocky lair,
That screams defiance to the dark.
The coyotes howl and sometimes bark
And now and then an eerie cry
When hunting owls go ghosting by.
We know that many share this space,
Though we may never see their face,
Or hear them passing near at hand.
Some are a wary, silent band,
But we can feel the presence there
Of all the creatures that must share
The beauty and the mystery,
Where mountains rise, majestically!

Previously published on The Typewriters.com


[This message has been edited by Trillium (edited 03-15-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Betty Lou Hebert - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2001-03-15 05:56 PM


Wow...is like a painting...I could almost hear cicadas! Truly a tranquil read.
walker
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since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240
Florida
2 posted 2001-03-15 06:00 PM


Makes me want to be there. Picture perfect!

A quarter of a century must pass, for the writer to understand what and why he writes.

Joyce Johnson
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Washington State
3 posted 2001-03-15 06:05 PM


Your descriptive phrases as are always, wonderful. Joyce
Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2001-03-15 07:04 PM


Trillium~
I felt a spiritual lifting with this lovely piece.

'It's there that magic seems to dwell
And casts an ancient, feral spell.'


And the shadows of the great creatures of the past ...
mark the trail for the existing creatures of the night.
I really, really like this.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Trillium
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5 posted 2001-03-15 11:33 PM


Serenity, Walker, Joyce and Marge: Thank you one and all for the nice comments. I'm glad you liked the poem.

Betty Lou Hebert

Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

6 posted 2001-03-16 10:15 PM


Where mountains rise to awesome heights
And strange aurora gifts the nights,
In colored ribbons, twisting high,
To unheard tempos in the sky,
It's there that magic seems to dwell
And casts an ancient, feral spell.
=============

your imagery is as superb as your cadence is...
this is wonderful writing
well done Trillium
take care
jm

We wish ourselves beautiful,
we cry in the night.
Its not the love you fear ...
its the fall from the height.
~Edwin McCain~

Trillium
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Idaho, USA
7 posted 2001-03-16 11:38 PM


Thank you Janet Marie. I appreciate your nice comments!

Betty Lou Hebert

Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

8 posted 2001-03-18 05:44 PM


Trillium, I enjoyed your poem very much. Your critique note says "Be honest," so I will ask you a question. Have you considered formatting this piece without capitalizing each line's first word? Doing so might allow for a smoother, more easily-read verse. It is a lovely poem and deserves every opportunity to shine. (o: Thanks for it!

Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau


Mike
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since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

9 posted 2001-03-18 05:48 PM


very nice... enjoyed muchly.
Trillium
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Idaho, USA
10 posted 2001-03-18 05:53 PM


Hi Mike: Thanks for reading and commenting. Glad you liked the poem

Meadowmuse: Thanks for your comments also. I have a hang-up about punctuation I think, but I will consider what you say and try it.
Thanks!

Betty Lou Hebert

WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245
Illinois
11 posted 2001-03-20 10:46 PM


Simply beautiful Betty!

A wonderous picture you've painted with your words.

<*\\\><

I know not what the future holds,
but I know Who holds the future.

I don't question YOUR existance - GOD


Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
12 posted 2001-03-21 11:40 PM


This is a very beautiful piece with lovely imagery....I enjoyed this brilliant poem....take care!

Nathan

kitkat
Senior Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 878
Nova Scotia
13 posted 2001-03-21 11:50 PM


Very nice. Makes me want to be there on the legde just to listen to all the sounds and see the sights
Trillium
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Idaho, USA
14 posted 2001-03-21 11:51 PM


WhtDove - thanks for commenting! Glad you enjoyed reading it.


Nathan - Thank you for such nice comments.

Betty Lou Hebert

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