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Open Poetry #12
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Poet deVine
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Hurricane Alley

0 posted 2001-03-14 07:59 PM


(written for a poetic sister)


Quicksand lies
from devil’s lips
the more he talks
the deeper she slips

Sweet words of love
softly spoken
until she becomes
his curio token

She hangs upon
his silken word
forsaking sense
she becomes absurd

Too late she feels
the suffocation
as lies and pain
become invocation

Mouth filled with sand
from quicksand lies
she won’t speak
her spirit dies.

© Copyright 2001 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved
Lady In White
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1 posted 2001-03-14 08:01 PM


I would hope....that all know that poetry speaks....to those who remain silent....and those who don't, speak loudest....

good write, PdV....


[This message has been edited by Lady In White (edited 03-14-2001).]

Joyce Johnson
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2 posted 2001-03-14 08:05 PM


Your short poetry speaks volumes. Wonderful
Joyce

Poet deVine
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Hurricane Alley
3 posted 2001-03-14 08:09 PM


Lady, I'm not sure what you mean.

Thank you Joyce. Sometimes short is better!! LOL


Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2001-03-14 08:12 PM


so true so true Sharon...
cool write...the succinct lines gave it a cryptic feel about it...
could be for far too many who fall this way..
poets and poetesses ...
lies smother love every time ...
well done PDV.


Sprayed across my heart and hers
Danced butterflies in the wild
This angel, this woman ,
who loves me with the innocence of a child.
~DeVante~

Sven
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5 posted 2001-03-14 08:19 PM


superb. . . a reminder that we can be lost in those words. . .

---------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Honeybee
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since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
6 posted 2001-03-14 08:21 PM



Sharon~ Very well expressed with a strong, flowing style! Hopefully, your words will convince your poetic sis to give him the boot, because with lies there is no love!~

Take care,
Melissa~

Temptress
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7 posted 2001-03-14 08:21 PM


*sigh*
Sharon,
Leave it to you to get to the point and do it very well. I enjoyed this.

catalinamoon
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The Shores of Alone
8 posted 2001-03-14 08:57 PM


Oh, how true is this..and how sad that it is. Wonderful write, Sharon.
Take care.
Sandra

Allan Riverwood
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9 posted 2001-03-14 09:31 PM


Well done, PDV. A quick read, and worth every second.
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort


WhtDove
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since 1999-07-22
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Illinois
10 posted 2001-03-14 10:03 PM


Sharon this is deep! I love it! It's very well written, and speaks loudly!

<*\\\><

I know not what the future holds,
but I know Who holds the future.

I don't question YOUR existance - GOD


Lone Wolf
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11 posted 2001-03-14 10:14 PM


Well said!! I think your message will be heard loud and clear. Excellent.



Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

Mysteria
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12 posted 2001-03-15 12:06 PM


Great advise you are giving, I hope your poetic sister is not co-depedant and thinks she is going to change him - rule number one: if he tell you who he is (and they all do, just try to listen), believe him, and run for the hills if you don't like what you are hearing because we never can change anyone! She has a friend in you, and I do hope she knows that. Great message to her and anyone else in a destructive relationship. Good jober Sharon!

~*~A poet is someone who reads more than they write ~*~

[This message has been edited by Mysteria (edited 03-15-2001).]

Poet deVine
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Hurricane Alley
13 posted 2001-03-15 12:11 PM


Thank you all for you understanding. It was either write this or kick her in the shins!!
VAS
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since 2000-11-16
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Oregon
14 posted 2001-03-16 12:59 PM


What a strong piece on betrayal and the pain of it. WEll done! Just as Joyce said, volumes in a tiny morsel.
serenity blaze
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15 posted 2001-03-16 01:03 AM


sigh...I HATE IT WHEN YOU'RE RIGHT.

not really...yanno that. love and appreciate you, ALWAYS.

Paula Finn
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missouri
16 posted 2001-03-16 01:12 AM


AAAAHHH PDV...this is excellent...I hope she listens...to often we see only what our hearts choose to see...and not the reality...hugs to you and your friend...I know exactly what she is going through
ethome
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Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
17 posted 2001-03-16 01:21 AM


I read the other comments and agree with all.....well written and so much said in a few short verses......one of the things I like so much is the title, it's simply so perfect for the content of the poem from the reader catching opening...........

"Quicksand lies
from devil’s lips
the more he talks
the deeper she slips"

to the cutting ending........

"Mouth filled with sand
from quicksand lies
she won’t speak
her spirit dies."

The poet is like a cocoon; in him the caterpillar of the past finds rest, and from him the butterfly of the future emerges.

bslicker
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state of mind
18 posted 2001-03-16 10:47 AM


ok, i ditto, all of the above, so i am just bumping this with my reply...lol

Bernie

Bernie Slicker

suthern
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19 posted 2001-03-16 02:48 PM


Ya mean I'm missing a shin kickin'? *G* Dern! LOL. Seriously, PDV... this is excellent. I can't really add to what has been said already except to say that a true friend tells us the tough stuff... and you've told it beautifully.
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