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Open Poetry #12
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jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298


0 posted 2001-03-13 11:31 AM


This sober living
has me too uptight
I think I will take my muse
out for a drink
get her drunk and write
something profound.

No I take that back
thought provoking
right now is the last
thing I need.
I want to laugh and run
and throw my cares to the breeze.

My muse
she writes too boring...
tells me she is hurting and I
try to ignore her
I won’t read what she rights
but she stretches words
into a tightrope
and writes me as the high wire walker
I gotta tell you
the view is frightening.

I think she needs some loosening up
a drink might just do the trick
and then my words instead
a clothesline will be
and me...I am clean laundry
flying in the breeze.

Yes we could give uptight
a whole new meaning
she could write me rolled
small into a ball
and toss me from happy hand
to happy hand.

Together we could write
a jump rope
and taking turns little girls
bouncing curls and giggles
is what you will see in me.

and if...
I get her good and drunk
and her words are too slurred
to be dishonest
she will write your arms
around me
and I in heaven will be.

© Copyright 2001 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2001-03-13 11:35 AM


I loved this!! I was hit so hard by the ending......wow......excellent writing! SEA
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
2 posted 2001-03-13 11:43 AM


I've heard of being three sheets to the wind...is that what you mean by 'being clean laundry hanging in the breeze"?

Me thinks your muse has already had a few my dear PDV, he=he=he

Enjoyed the read a lot!!!

Just A Woman
Senior Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 507

3 posted 2001-03-13 12:49 PM


this is simpily outstanding. The imagery is fantastic, the flow, the thoughts........I love it! Am saving. Wonderful Jellybeans!!!!!!!!!!!!

After years of searching, I have found I am nothing more, nothing less...I am in truth Just A Woman after all.

Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
4 posted 2001-03-13 01:22 PM


hey jb. . . anytime you'd like to go. . . just let me know. . . I'm sure that our muses could use it!!!!

excellent. . .

----------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
5 posted 2001-03-13 01:40 PM


Jellybeans--I know just what you mean...loved this write..great job..and your muse seems pretty active to me...and free.
Moon Dust
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Member Elite
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177
Skelmersdale, UK
6 posted 2001-03-13 02:18 PM


really I think my muse is drunk nice one, enjoyed muchly

Don't ever give in, if you do you've lost everything you've ever had and everything you hope to gain, but if you carry on your already winning.


Temptress
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Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
7 posted 2001-03-14 08:52 PM


I like this. Makes me want to go out and treat my own tonight!
catalinamoon
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
8 posted 2001-03-14 09:02 PM


Great poem! I just heard a new song today, one of the lines is "Heres to nights we felt alive"
Well Heres to our muses and may they all feel much better after a nice big pina colada (palm tree included free)
Sandra

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
9 posted 2001-03-14 09:07 PM


JB...I shall jump with you
take a moment to
write a bit, sip a quip
then land and break our lip

did I tell you, I'm klutzy?

Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
10 posted 2001-03-15 07:52 AM


I loved the imagery you diaplayed...brilliant write!

Nathan

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

11 posted 2001-03-15 09:50 AM


I had such a bad day yesterday, I didn’t realize I hadn’t thanked anyone on this one…..so here goes

SEA thank you…and yep I didn’t know how I was gonna end it, and then it just hit me…just like it did you…you know that honesty thing

VAS lolol…..the other day you called me Doreen…now PVD…nope not either, I am just me, though both are such quality writers that I am complimented, thank you

Justawoman thank you so much for your compliments, your energy is catching

Sven (see below) just join the group under the palm tree…the more the merrier…..thanks kind sir

Martie well its been active and for that I say thanks, but not free…overburdened is more like it……sigh…thanks

Moondust thanks and if so, I gotta say you are the lucky one

Temptress yep…you go right ahead…join me and catalina…and sven…we are the ones laughing under the palm tree

Catalina Moon loved your comment…and yep…..a pina colada under a palm tree sounds mighty good

Sunshine lol…I think most are klutzy when drunk…so we shall be good company lady, thanks for the verse

Nate Dogg thank you never been described as brilliant before

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
12 posted 2001-03-15 03:02 PM


Even for your muse, the reprieve that drink offers is only temporary... this soars with playfulness and whimsy but ends in the reality of missing... *S* I love this one... whatever your muse needs, give it to her... for she is giving you some gems! *S*
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
13 posted 2001-03-16 12:23 PM


jellybeans...uh, that's your name, right?
are you any relation the jellybean King?
that name, jellybean King always, ALWAYS makes me think of Billie Jean King...anyway, sorry I've called every thing under the sun...oh, well maybe not that, I'll try to get it right sooner or later, no sooner. yeah, I got a kick out of your drinking poem, maybe that's why I didn't recognize you...three sheets wavin' in my eyes. oh my, my brain is fuzzy again, it's late and I ate too much.

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