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Open Poetry #12
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Meadowmuse
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since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263


0 posted 2001-03-12 11:11 AM



Sometimes


Mother loved,
when she could.
She would have loved
these caramel oak floors,
the skeleton key doors,
the winding staircases.

She would have loved to drink
her morning tea and watch
the peach and violet sky
through the mudroom's
high east windows,
wrapped in her thick robe
and the strong stone walls
of my hundred year old house.

The wandering ivy would
remind her of England.  
She would have loved
the inviting cool
of the cavernous porch,
the garden's spill of tea roses,
the dogwood path
and me, sometimes.

 



Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau


© Copyright 2001 Meadowmuse - All Rights Reserved
jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

1 posted 2001-03-12 11:15 AM


oh wow...this is so touching...*wiping tears*...very powerful...love your style lady, nothing but exceptional comes from your pen
serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2001-03-12 11:18 AM


claire this was somehow both comforting and sad at once...like a comfortable haunting, so to speak. The mood truly translated. Lovely as always.
Robert Joseph
Member
since 2000-10-07
Posts 491
South Carolina
3 posted 2001-03-12 11:25 AM


I believe, only the blue sea could sail a heart and soul any further than your words have sailed mine this morning...Lovely work.

Robert Joseph

Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2001-03-12 12:31 PM


Meadow,
I too was carried away on the tide of your eloquence. Excellent work. Sy

Sven
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since 1999-11-23
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East Lansing, MI USA
5 posted 2001-03-12 06:41 PM


and you sometimes??

I would wonder. . . why not all the time?

very touching Claire. . . have I told you that it's nice to have you back for a while??

--------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Trillium
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since 2001-03-09
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Idaho, USA
6 posted 2001-03-12 07:45 PM


Mothers don't always love their daughters. You have expressed the lonliness in that fact, so well.

Betty Lou Hebert

Trillium
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Member Patricius
since 2001-03-09
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Idaho, USA
7 posted 2001-03-12 07:45 PM


Mothers don't always love their daughters. You have expressed the lonliness in that fact, so well.

Betty Lou Hebert

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
8 posted 2001-03-12 08:04 PM


MM,
At a loss , searching , grasping for understanding . Portrayed in words .
Doc

Packratmike
Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632
California, USA
9 posted 2001-03-13 02:25 AM


Beautiful, sad and haunting......great combination, great poem.

Packratmike

Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
10 posted 2001-03-13 04:17 AM


Claire~
Poignantly lovely.
So in keeping with the hue of you.
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

11 posted 2001-03-13 09:51 PM


Jellybeans, I am pleased that my poem moved you, but sorry for the tears. Awfully nice response, and I thank you.

serenity, I believe I understand just what you mean by "comfortable haunting" ~ thank you for that.

Robert Joseph, thank you for your eloquent reply to my poem. A writer can only hope to stir something within the reader ~ thank you for letting me know.

Sy, to carry you away is my pleasure. (o: Thanks for reading.

Trillium, thank you. My mother loved, when she could. Thanks for your understanding response.

Doc, yes, very much like that. Thank you, always.

Packratmike, your "greats" are grand ~ thank you! (o:

Miss Marge, so pleased to know you enjoyed this. Many hugs back to you tonight.

Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau


JamesMichael
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since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
12 posted 2001-03-14 05:31 AM


Very nice Claire...James
Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

13 posted 2001-03-14 08:22 AM


Thank you, James. (o:

Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau


Allan Riverwood
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Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
14 posted 2001-03-14 10:32 AM


A very nice poem. The word "sometimes" at the very end changed the meaning of the last line.
Well done.
~Allan

If I had your eyes, I'd be blind. For I can only see out of my own. ~~Carly Van Dort


vandana
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USA
15 posted 2001-03-14 11:05 AM


enjoyed it
Just A Woman
Senior Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 507

16 posted 2001-03-14 03:25 PM


Tears to my eyes........this is outstanding, Meadowmuse. I'm so glad I caught it. Am saving to read many times over I'm sure. I'm in awe. Give yourself a pat on the back from me.

After years of searching, I have found I am nothing more, nothing less...I am in truth Just A Woman after all.

Jellybean King
Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 153
Jelly, Bean
17 posted 2001-03-14 04:12 PM


Well...what compliment can I give that the other readers haven't already given? Just to say that this was an awesome read! It was very skillful, the way you showed us your deep understanding and love for your mother by describing all the things she "would have" loved...then the ending hits us like a rock, because you include yourself in that list of "things" she would have loved sometimes too (but of course, daughters are not things, they are people/children).

It's almost like the home you describe was built with her in mind, yet it seems like she's never seen it...(I'm taking a leap here) but this also infers that like this home, you tried to become the person that she would be pleased of...and she didn't see it...only sometimes...

Thanks for the great read!

Jellybean King

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