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soldier of misfortune
| Open Poetry #12 |
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soldier of misfortune |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298
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for my transgressions against the me that you required I be you sentenced me blue black and ugly I threw off the image with all that I knew to be just and right each time purifying the specter with the light of who I knew me to be each morning's necessary brew was stirred with the reassurance that you fabricated lies the battle raged determined and leaning heavily on my beliefs I never retreated but today I look in the mirror weary and battle scarred and I am taken aback too late I realize that I severely underestimated the extent of your abilities. . . the person looking back isn't me |
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| © Copyright 2001 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
oh jb---I'm not sure which is more horrifying---the unsettling notion that the person in the mirror is not you, or that it IS... hugs you. We are sisters yanno. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Oh jeez God, I'll be back......count on it Kathleen Blake "When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey." Laurie Lee [This message has been edited by Kathleen (edited 03-12-2001).] |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Jellybeans, I know that's straight from the horses mouth. But surfaces are decieving. You don't see what I see. A lovely enchanting beautiful mind. Your looking in the wrong mirror. Sy |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Yes, Seymour, you are right, this poet is looking in the wrong mirror, but I know we do not see ourselves the way we are and the way others do, I understand this kind of pain. Kathleen Blake "When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey." Laurie Lee |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
I agre with Kathleen and Seymour......wrong mirror! |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
serentity...i wrote this at face value, I am guilty of trying 'not to feel' most times and you read and saw deeper...*shakes her head* your comment makes me take my thoughts to a deeper level...thank you lady Kathleen, Seymore and ethome, you are all so kind...that I share my heart with you, and you see me as kind and beautiful...sigh...makes me keep on trying...thank you so much |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I didn't know The person you were before And would never have wished This gaping sore Wound of bewilderment To be your lot. But look again, See the strength that you've got. A dearer friend Just couldn't be had And though your eyes Have seen much too much bad You look at friends With eyes that are kind. The loyalty you give Is so hard to find. I know you have scars Even years can't erase But you're not alone And you don't have to face A distorted image In a hard pane of glass. You're beautiful, my friend, A lady with class. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
for my transgressions against the me that you required I be you sentenced me blue black and ugly I threw off the image with all that I knew to be just and right each time purifying the specter with the light of who I knew me to be each morning's necessary brew was stirred with the reassurance that you fabricated lies ============================ too late I realize that I severely underestimated the extent of your abilities. . . the person looking back isn't me =========================== oustanding use of metaphor here jb ... powerful impactous writing... kudos for the poem .. hugs for the purge with every poem ... your true reflection becomes clearer. Hugs to suthern too..for such a wonderful poetic reply ... way cool girlies  Sprayed across my heart and hers Danced butterflies in the wild This angel, this woman , who loves me with the innocence of a child. ~DeVante~ |
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Packratmike Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632California, USA |
Great writing jellybeans. I really like this one. Powerful! "HEY, DON'T THROW THAT AWAY, I MIGHT NEED IT SOMEDAY!!!" Packratmike |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
suthern....I couldn't be luckier to look in the mirror and see you, when God defined 'angel'...he wrote your name.....love you lady  jm...thank you lady.....if God is the one that put me where I am...then I am lucky he showed me the ability to write to ease my situation thank you so much for your caring |
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Jellybean King Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 153Jelly, Bean |
I just got a big lump in the back of my throat when I read the last stanza...wow! This was ingeniously crafted to pull the reader so deep into the story that at the end it's the reader who is standing there in front of the mirror...not recognizing themselves. And you know...the reader doesn't even realize the subtle changes going on in the mind until we reach that last stanza, which I thought was an extremely effective way to convey the poem's meaning. I also like the unusual phasing "against the me you required I be"...also lends to the whole premise of how destructive situations can change you progressively...subtly...cumulatively. Jellybean King |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I enjoyed reading your poem...James |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
thank you king...for reading and responding so deeply...nice to know I could touch you like that with my words thank you james |
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