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Open Poetry #12
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camel's quench
| Open Poetry #12 |
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camel's quench |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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Drift you, past my bloodied words, and rhymes that tantalize with curse... the times of hallmark's obscene verse-- I have no business here. For every teardrop in inkwell I scrape for blood and there indwell and stamp upon ye marked hell... and leave a droplet's dripping drear. Every syllable, a breath... and rest, between - be but a test-- all the best? I've not seen yet. and sorrow is a chest of heave... To you, I cleave, untasted bless - the salt that feeds my own eye's tear. A hungered breast--my camel's quench, within...without...too far...too near. [This message has been edited by serenity (edited 03-11-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Drift you, past my bloodied words, and rhymes that tantalize with curse... the times of hallmark's obscene verse-- I have no business here. For every teardrop in inkwell I scrape for blood and there indwell and stamp upon ye marked hell... and leave a droplet's dripping drear. Every syllable, a breath... and rest, between - be but a test-- ===================== the salt that feeds my own eye's tear. within...without...too far...too near. ==================== personally ... I love the curse of your rhyme ... its a lovely spell ... makes me want to read more and more of you  incantate away me gifted poetess twin ... hugs baby,love you Sen  We're living in a world full of illusion Everything is so unreal My mind is in a state of confusion But I can't deny the way I feel ~Depeche Mode~ |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Wow Serenity ... a gripping and emotional read. I loved the meter and rhyme scheme within ... and that last line ... excellent conclusion to your thoughts, very well written!  Best wishes, /Kit |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
quote: damn ... DAMN.. you're good!!! your writing should be published, my friend..... you have a unique style so very YOU and this one is one of your best..... harpo? just speak for me, ok? hold up the mirror... i can see me looking back.... |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
I have to agree with Doreen here! Damn, you're good! This is wonderful, and fierce and fluid and angry. All things I understand well. Sandra |
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thecraig Member
since 2001-03-11
Posts 223 |
Dear Serenity I wish the dictionary gave simple guidlines on the keyboards - gap, strange follow on symbols & etc etc ..... Your effort to bring these into poetic use maybe a start of acceptance. I admit I preferr them to lazy abuse, though lean to solid words. |
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