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A_nonymous
New Member

since 2001-03-11

Posts 2

0 posted 2001-03-11 01:27 AM

Hi people, this is my first attempt at writing poetry since I was a school girl (I'm now 25) but I've fallen in love with a guy and he's moved me so much I need to express it somehow.... The only problem is he's from England......and I'm from Australia

Any constructive criticism before I send it to him is appreciated

I sit on a cliff overlooking the ocean
That expanse of water that separates us
The one element that stands in the way
Of our happiness

I look out at the distant horizon
And wonder if at that moment
You’re looking at it from your side of the world
And thinking of me

My heart aches at the distance between us
My soul despairs that it will never be
My entire being reaches for you
Across miles of turbulent sea

My thoughts turn to the future
Of a time when we conquer that blue
And we sit on this cliff together
Our impossible dream come true

[This message has been edited by A_nonymous (edited 03-11-2001).]

windwarrior_RJ
Junior Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 28
California

1 posted 2001-03-11 01:36 AM

I wish you the best. May your seas be calmed and your moments be few apart from your love.
I think I know this feeling. Thanks for sharing it.
RJ

Agust P
Member

since 2000-12-29

Posts 157

2 posted 2001-03-11 04:05 AM

beautiful, keep on writing! AP

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

3 posted 2001-03-11 04:28 AM

Enjoyed reading your poem..James

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

4 posted 2001-03-11 08:00 AM

Welcome to Passions! I will not attempt to critique your writing, there are far better poets around who would and will help you do that....and I would send you a special message welcoming you via E-card, but unfortunately you are not coded with your e-address.

If you have any questions about how to move around in here, please contact a Moderator of your choice....

and again, Welcome to Passions!

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ

[This message has been edited by Sunshine (edited 03-11-2001).]

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

5 posted 2001-03-12 02:22 PM

Ahhhh... so you're that elusive poet credited with all those wonderful works? *G* (Sorry... couldn't resist playing with your name. *G*)

If he loves you, he'll be reading your heart... send it and good luck! *S* And welcome to Passions!

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