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Open Poetry #12
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For Her Being,...Mei Mater
| Open Poetry #12 |
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For Her Being,...Mei Mater |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396
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For Her Being,...Mei Mater I find it crippling, the way the pain rests across her, the way the night seems to bind and constrict. I find sadness scooting by me on a train, slipping in me on the way. I’ve focused myself away from wondering when, and seem to capture all of her in a moment. How could her hurt reach inside of me so, ache the way it used to? How could flashes stripped of innocence - too soon - tangle themselves all over again? She carries a secret - that burns the whole of me. She smiles when I arrive as if I’m the life outside of what she knows. Strength can only take you so far, wisdom another mile, but when it’s so much more than that, I simply can’t offer. I can’t cough up the courage or let go of the concern. I’m sort of left here, praying that somehow my thoughts will coat her in their honesty, perhaps strangle her with truth. ‘Massive Amounts’ from what I understand cannot be controlled in one sitting, one cry, one measly attempt at mending something so very, very broken. How can she allow substance to overrun her? To take what she is given and play with it, as if fire were the door? I can’t take this anymore. I can’t begin to make sense of why I’m here. Where opportunities were never presented, instead they were sucked out from time. I went seeking, overturned a thousand souls, saw exactly what she was in a day. Slashed hopes, realized exactly what the consequences could be. Pin-pointed what they could mean to me. What massive amounts can do to a family. There’s this sickness that swims, follows spaces found - and then hovers. A weighted ball inside my chest seething - for answers and changes that one cannot grant themselves. I find it more difficult to hide, to wash and present faces so twisted on the inner sections. So distorted from the view, the hand dealt, the screaming accompanying my silence. I can walk a step away, place a foot (trembling) unto the curb. Relocate my sadness. Or I can sit, on concrete - soaking wet - and weep. Weep for her unknown, her slip, her false reality and ache. Weep for why it all began. For never seeing true happiness inside her eyes. For my never feeling safe enough to sleep. Or, for her being,...mei mater. [This message has been edited by SpitFire (edited 03-10-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 SpitFire - All Rights Reserved | |||
catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Painful saga here, S, wow. It made me think of when I would visit my Grandma in the geriatric psych ward. (Not the same, but still the same, you know?) Very powerful. Take care Sandra |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I’ve focused myself away from wondering when, and seem to capture all of her in a moment. How could her hurt reach inside of me so, ache the way it used to? How could flashes stripped of innocence - too soon - tangle themselves all over again? She carries a secret - that burns the whole of me. She smiles when I arrive as if I’m the life outside of what she knows. Strength can only take you so far, wisdom another mile, but when it’s so much more than that, I simply can’t offer. I can’t cough up the courage or let go of the concern. I’m sort of left here, praying that somehow my thoughts will coat her in their honesty, perhaps strangle her with truth. ‘Massive Amounts’ from what I understand cannot be controlled in one sitting, one cry, one measly attempt at mending something so very, very broken. ===================== Where opportunities were never presented, instead they were sucked out from time. I went seeking, overturned a thousand souls, saw exactly what she was in a day. ===================== Weep for her unknown, her slip, her false reality and ache. Weep for why it all began. For never seeing true happiness inside her eyes. For my never feeling safe enough to sleep. Or, for her being,...mei mater. ====================== This is an amazing piece of writing... I realized as I was reading that I was holding my breath, trying to inhale all its impressive lines, images, phrases, metaphors, comparisons, confessions, purges, emotions and truths. The things I read in this,-- both above and below the surface of the words effect me deeply. Outstanding free verse cool poetess of the porch ... *S* you took your gift to a higher level with this write. We're living in a world full of illusion Everything is so unreal My mind is in a state of confusion But I can't deny the way I feel ~Depeche Mode~ |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
SpitFire, Oh sweetie, this one just grabbed my heart and wouldn't let go. It's never easy is it? I know where this comes from, but I also know you will be ok. Just hang in there and be strong my friend. You know how to find me if you need me. ((((HUGS)))) Lone Wolf Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
My head is swimming. New to this forum and then I read this. It will take more than one reading for me to get the entire gist of it, but it is intense. |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Sandra, thank you for stopping in and yes, I do know. You take care as well. ~Janet Marie, thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that you left in response. ~LoneWolf, you're right, I will be and thank you for being there. ~Joyce, new here? Then welcome, and thank you for dropping in on me and for leaving your words. *Peace poets. |
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gardawg Junior Member
since 2001-02-08
Posts 34W of Seattle |
Spitfire, nothing more to say than fine work. The beginning of the last S the heart and soul of the poem to me. Be pleased. Thanks. Gary |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
You have just knocked the wind out of me with this remarkable piece of poetry. It is truly one the saddest most moving pieces I've ever read from you. This is fantastic, Into the library, you go AGAIN. |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Gary, thank you for visiting and for what you've left behind. Truly. ~Serenity, how do I thank thee? How? *Peace you two! |
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