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Open Poetry #12
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PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA

0 posted 2001-03-09 01:59 PM


Would thou offer but a brief respite?
Even under temporary conditions,
Is not a moment still a moment?
If that is all thee have
To hold onto,
Would not that count just the same?
Many times thy gaze lay disturbed,
Troubled by unconscious thought
And of toils too many to tame
Rest seems an unattainable thing
Yet the power lies ever
Just below the surface within
Thy peace and comfort
Used to be held steadfast
But before your eyes, slipped away
Taken on the wind with incense
Borne of sleepless offerings,
And onto wishes of another day
Thou art the catalyst for inspiration
For even a moment, if not eternal
Thus the words, a seductive proliferation
Given the choice between
The hardness of unfinished stone
Sought for most rare and coveted value,
And softness as the sky itself,
Thee would be all of this
Polished lovingly a softer shade of blue



© Copyright 2001 J.M. Landry - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2001-03-09 02:05 PM


Thank you for this....and just look....600 blessings from your pen....
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
2 posted 2001-03-09 02:10 PM


Enjoyed reading this poem...James
PoeticKnight
Senior Member
since 2000-01-20
Posts 1144
New Orleans, LA
3 posted 2001-03-09 02:22 PM


Oh cool...oh, now its 601.
Katherine Chandler
Member
since 2001-03-07
Posts 280
Florida, USA
4 posted 2001-03-09 02:39 PM


I found this reading to be quite comforting and very real. Nice writing! Kate


Genuine poetry can communicate before it is understood.
T S Eliot

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
5 posted 2001-03-09 02:53 PM


very soft.....and beautiful SEA
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
6 posted 2001-03-09 03:22 PM


Love the feel of this. I believe it has a depth much greater than I can reach in a couple quick reads. It felt good to me, though.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2001-03-09 03:26 PM


Would thou offer but a brief respite?
Even under temporary conditions,
Is not a moment still a moment?
If that is all thee have
To hold onto,
==================
But before your eyes, slipped away
Taken on the wind with incense
Borne of sleepless offerings,
And onto wishes of another day
Thou art the catalyst for inspiration
For even a moment, if not eternal
Thus the words, a seductive proliferation
Given the choice between
The hardness of unfinished stone
Sought for most rare and coveted value,
And softness as the sky itself,
Thee would be all of this
Polished lovingly a softer shade of blue
===============

"Taken on the wind with incense
Borne of sleepless offerings,
And onto wishes of another day"

very very cool thoughts here PK

"Thou art the catalyst for inspiration
For even a moment, if not eternal
Thus the words, a seductive proliferation"

indeed poet sir ... indeed they are.

excellent imagery and metaphor in this ...
especially the last 5 or so lines ...
the vocab and language adds to the overall grace of the read ...
as does the element of longing & angst that builds up
till the summation of the endings emotions
another beauty from your pen.


Some find subtlety in strangers
some find subtlety alone
Your eyes,you see everything
my eyes,I see its all together now
and I know.
~candlebox~

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