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snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS

0 posted 2001-03-09 06:55 AM




your nature, hidden in the luster of the sunrise,
surrounds the solitude of my existence...
amidst the splendor, I seek out your eyes,
and the logic behind this vast distance...

through the air flutters a lost butterfly,
capturing my attention with its lonely stare...
could it possibly have heard my cry?
how did it know when to find me, and where?

following its flight, past the meadow of green
and into the sky of richly pale blue,
I see your face in the changing scene,
and no longer can I this desire subdue...

my gaze now fixed on the clouds above,
fascination further ignites my impatience...
of this reverie I could never get enough...
with its landing, love will breach suspense.

-kh 02/08/01


do I believe we'd be better off apart?
can I see my world without you in it?
baby, not for a single minute...

© Copyright 2001 snowpants - All Rights Reserved
POETIC THUG
Junior Member
since 2001-03-08
Posts 42
HOUSTON TEXAS BABY
1 posted 2001-03-09 06:57 AM


I LOVED IT NATURE IS A VERY BUITIFULL THING AND.GOOD & STRONG GOING TO GIVE IT ANOPTHER SHOT MYSELF SOON.

NSSTUDEWOOD@HOTMAIL.COM

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
2 posted 2001-03-09 10:36 AM


Lovely, lovely, lovely! This is so soft and sensual, serene. to get the butterfly's point of view...read my "If I Were." I can't help but think they go together...the flavor of mine, though, is not soft and sensual, but highly playful. Now isn't that a butterfly, and wouldn't we receive a butterfly's playfulness in awe and serene softness as your poem has portrayed.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2001-03-09 10:40 AM


ME first LOL

through the air flutters a lost butterfly,
capturing my attention with its lonely stare...
could it possibly have heard my cry?
how did it know when to find me, and where?

following its flight, past the meadow of green
and into the sky of richly pale blue,
I see your face in the changing scene,
and no longer can I this desire subdue...
===================

look at Kris ryhming her poetic butt off LOL
RHYME is NO problem for you girlie...
this is very cool...
your usual gift of imagery and its all dresses up in perfect cadence
and what I notice most about this ...
is you chose unique fresh phrases and words..
nothing over used and cliche' here ...
I SAY ... you can cut class from now on...
your a poet and you know it
great job Sp and turned in hours early too!!
(trying to be teachers pet?) LOL


and now....(yeah yeah) ....

read this to the teach on phone this morn and he says to tell you ...
A+ for imagery
A+ for rhyme and cadence
A+ for effort and extra credit for turning in early
great job SP
=============

now ya can skip school
later gator
me



Some find subtlety in strangers
some find subtlety alone
Your eyes,you see everything
my eyes,I see its all together now
and I know.
~candlebox~

snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
4 posted 2001-03-09 05:44 PM


POETIC THUG: thank you...I am glad you liked this!! yes, nature is a great thing to work with in poetry!!

VAS: yes, I will definitely check out your poem! Now you've got me all curious! Thank you so much for the compliments! I am glad you liked this!!

JM: well, you certainly know how to make me blush, now don't 'cha?? cut class?? hmmm...but I'd miss out on all those demands from the teach!! yes, hours early...it was a rough night, but I toughed it out and got it in!! ohh, yeah, DEFINITELY teacher's pet...think this'll do it??
OK...now to the teach: wow!! A+ all across the board!! well, ain't that somethin'?? you are a most generous teacher...thank you, my friend for that! I am certainly glad you liked this!! hmmm...extra credit, eh?? hehe

sp


do I believe we'd be better off apart?
can I see my world without you in it?
baby, not for a single minute...


[This message has been edited by snowpants (edited 03-09-2001).]

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
5 posted 2001-03-10 12:50 PM


kris-

beautiful beautiful work and you're
back to rhyming! yay!! this is just so
lovely my dear friend...your heart
shines once again...and once again just
simply stunning imagery! loved this, but
then again i always love everything you
write. dont look now--but your talent
is showing

take care girlie
amy ~~~~~~~

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart & can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."


Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

6 posted 2001-03-10 09:44 PM


through the air flutters a lost butterfly,
capturing my attention with its lonely stare...
could it possibly have heard my cry?
how did it know when to find me, and where?

Ahhh you know butterflies, they're always there when you need them

Beautiful writing Kris and wonderful imagery, loved the graphic and choice of colour used


I may know the word but not say it
I may know the truth but not face it
I may hear a sound a whisper sacred and profound
but turn my head indifferent.

Natalie Merchant


[This message has been edited by Dark Angel (edited 03-10-2001).]

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2001-03-10 09:52 PM


Hey little one....so glad to see you posting again...I've missed you...and you know this one warms my heart....
ATelamon
Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 328
Purgatory, Last Staircase, Up
8 posted 2001-03-10 09:55 PM


"the logic behind... the distance"

Struck me most of all. Someday I hope to have some answers there abouts.

But I somehow think
tonight is not the night
epiphanous to bring me a clear light
but someday maybe

I will see the why
of the where
the who of the how
and remember

what smiling is
someday maybe

My compliments
AT


"Beginning is one place, I've been before." J. Anderson

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