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Open Poetry #12
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CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043


0 posted 2001-03-09 02:55 AM



Black and White Veils

The curtain decends
And still in the end
The pretense remains
Of the parts you did play
Standing before me
On center of stage
Masquerading your heart
Among family and friends
Shielding yourself
From truth and of love
Your choice was to run
Leaving shadows behind
Of day dreams that trail
Black and white veils
Then all of a sudden
My mind casually drifts
Entranced in the thought
Of when we first kissed
Lost in the haze
Of feelings once craved
Tears begin to subside
From the song of your lullaby
And like seasons that change
Your memory does fade
And reality sways
Like autum leaves on brisk days
Trickling downwards
In gusts of chilled winds
Left hovering bent
Are fragile stark limbs
As a love becomes bittersweet
The innocence is stripped
Now brittle to feel
Left crumbling at heels
Eventually resting
On delicate threads
Of daydreams that trail
Black and White veils




[This message has been edited by CocoBaci (edited 03-09-2001).]
© Copyright 2001 CocoBaci - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2001-03-09 03:01 AM


Coco? you touched deep here...reminded me of the pillars of Joachim and Boaz...outside of the temple...the symbolism here just blew me away, with of course, the temperate middle path as a guideline. Seemingly simple...but not very. Love it.

" Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go."
T.S. Eliot


Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
2 posted 2001-03-09 07:47 AM


Coco - you have expressed many feelings here, ones that I can relate too. Wish you the best.

BC

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
3 posted 2001-03-09 07:48 AM


Dani~
What a lovely presentation of thoughts.
You fairly shine in this one.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2001-03-09 09:15 AM


Your choice was to run
Leaving shadows behind
Of day dreams that trail
Black and white veils
Then all of a sudden
My mind casually drifts
Entranced in the thought
Of when we first kissed
Lost in the haze
Of feelings once craved
Tears begin to subside
From the song of your lullaby
And like seasons that change
Your memory does fade
========================

this is awesome Coco ...
very cool writing...
love the title and the presentation of format
very creative perspective to write from...
the way you took us thru the cycle of emotions accented by the imagery
very well done sweet poetess
jm

Some find subtlety in strangers
some find subtlety alone
Your eyes,you see everything
my eyes,I see its all together now
and I know.
~candlebox~

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
5 posted 2001-03-09 09:27 AM


"Like autum leaves on brisk days
Trickling downwards
In gusts of chilled winds
Left hovering bent
Are fragile stark limbs
As a love becomes bittersweet"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Coco...this brings such vivid images to my mind while reading..... this is excellent!! Truly a fantastic write from you SEA

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

6 posted 2001-03-09 11:25 AM


This reminded me of the chapel veils we wore in grade school. NOw, white was in (sign of purity and all but me, I wanted black,
well, Kathleen walked in church one day with a black chapel veil and everyone turned to gasp! Soon, the church was filled with happy little 8 yr. old girls swaying back and forth singing Glory! wearing BLACK chapel veils! ha ha wanted to share that with you!

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee


CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

7 posted 2001-03-09 01:09 PM


Serenity, Bill, Marge, Janet, Sea, Kathleen

Thank you so very much for reading this poem, it has special meanings for me and my heart hugs each of you for the support and compassion you share with me each time I visit these pages blue...

Hugs2uPoetFriends
~coco~

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
8 posted 2001-03-09 02:08 PM


Very nice Coco...James
Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
9 posted 2001-03-09 02:16 PM


Coco...you knwo you are loved here within this family...hugs to you dearlin...and this...this is just awesome
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
10 posted 2001-03-09 02:52 PM


The words of this piece seem to trickle down the page as if from a slow moving waterfall, could there be such a thing?
Poeminister
Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
11 posted 2001-03-09 10:52 PM


Excellent title and the flow of this piece is flawless. Wonderful writing.

Poeminister

[This message has been edited by Poeminister (edited 03-09-2001).]

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
12 posted 2001-03-09 10:58 PM


Coco,

I have a feeling there is more here than meets the eye, but what exactly I could never guess. Wonderful poem filled with mystery and emotion my friend. Always nice to see you here.

Lone Wolf


Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

13 posted 2001-03-09 11:32 PM


James, Paula, Virginia, Poe, LoneWolf

PoetFriends, thank you for taking the time to comment on the poem and for the friendly hugs because ya know those hugs make me smile from the inside out and that's the honest truth

~coco~

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
14 posted 2001-03-10 10:35 PM


Oh my, I do know this same person you write about, I swear. This is beatiful, the words, the flow, the presentation. Very very nice.
And sad, which I understand well.
Sandra

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
15 posted 2001-03-12 12:59 PM


Shielding yourself
From truth and of love
Your choice was to run
Leaving shadows behind
Of day dreams that trail
Black and white veils

Shadows of daydreams trailing veils... Not only does this poem (and particularly this passage) touch my heart, I love the images it leaves in my mind! *S* Well done!

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
16 posted 2001-03-12 01:16 PM


the veils of life and of love. . . shown here in vivid textures. . .

wonderful poetFriend Coco. . .

------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
17 posted 2001-03-12 02:40 PM


Coco this is a great write! you have brought out the truth about untruth and your composition is so well done !

The poet is like a cocoon; in him the caterpillar of the past finds rest, and from him the butterfly of the future emerges.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
18 posted 2001-03-12 05:28 PM


beautiful in words and in presentation

~Wynter


"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

19 posted 2001-03-12 11:27 PM


CatalinaMoon, I'm pleased to read that you liked this and ya know what they say everyone has a double out there someplace

Suthern, thank you for your response as it truly means alot to me in receiving mention of 'well done' in a reply from you

Sven, my dearPoetFriend, thank you for the 'wonderful' ya know I enjoy the feedback from you... the talented 'dark' writer who we treasure so very much here

Ethome, your response just fills me with so much enthusiasm you'll never know sweetie and I thank you for taking the time to comment here

Wynter, nice to see you sweetie, and I always appreciate your kindness in replies hugs2u

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