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Open Poetry #12
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jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298


0 posted 2001-03-06 03:52 PM


Black

the carpet is tweed and six
out of nine pairs of shoes
in the room are black
no make that
seven if you include mine

they haven’t called my name yet

a white lab coat wearing white shoes
draws blood to see what ills
they will find
should my silence speak
and give them a clue that
the vials will show nothing
my heart won’t heal until
the black gives
my baby back

I want to snatch him back
start him up all over again
give him brand new smiles
a nice shiny lease on life
I want to fill his heart with
soft warm caring
that washes away
twenty five years of scars
I want to stand up and scream
for the black
to give my baby
back

tripping over cracks
seen but not realized
I clutch the band-aid tight
my arm hurts
but not enough to make me
forget my ache
I side step the gum and trash
un-see the bars
sign my name to the visiting list
and sit and pray
with heavy heart for the black
to give my baby back

they haven’t called my name yet...




[This message has been edited by jellybeans (edited 03-06-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved
JLR
Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785

1 posted 2001-03-06 04:25 PM


I don't know what to say other than this was very good.
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
2 posted 2001-03-06 04:26 PM


It took a net to catch this butterfly but when I did it ransomed it self with a bagful of luscious jellybeans. Sy
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2001-03-06 04:31 PM


should my silence speak
and give them a clue that
the vials will show nothing
my heart won’t heal until
the black gives
my baby back

I want to snatch him back
start him up all over again
give him brand new smiles
a nice shiny lease on life
I want to fill his heart with
soft warm caring
that washes away
twenty five years of scars
I want to stand up and scream
for the black
to give my baby
back
==================
most impressive imagery here jb
and the small additions of rhyme gave it a very cool meter and flow ...
the expression of the ache and emotions
is intense ...
felt this one for sure.
sending more hugs for ya
me


Some find subtlety in strangers
some find subtlety alone
Your eyes,you see everything
my eyes,I see its all together now
and I know.
~candlebox~

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

4 posted 2001-03-06 05:11 PM


thanks guys...this has been a rough day, and so i deal with it the only way i know and that is to write...sigh
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
5 posted 2001-03-06 06:04 PM


This breaks my heart... and no less so because it's written so well from your pen of tears. If I could braid sunshine and pull it down into your life, I would, dear friend... Until then, I'll just hurt with you and hope the writing helps. {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}
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