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Open Poetry #12
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snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS

0 posted 2001-03-05 04:10 PM




like this new song you’ve introduced to me,
your devotion continuously plays in my mind...
each day the sun rises above those trees...
right outside of my window,
I awake to the sound of your love singing in my ear.
the rhyme flows effortlessly...the melody steadily moves my heart.
this tune lingers...the lyrics serve as a reminder;
I won’t need a copy of the tape...
I’ll remember how it goes from the first time you sang it.

and, as the years pass by, it will remain,
but accompanied by a new emotion...
the passion won’t fade...the ecstasy will survive,
but, now the harmony of certainty will enhance...
the assurance of awaking to the sight of your face,
the promise we made regarding the weathering of storms
will stand through the ordeals of every day.
when I am not pleased with these words,
you will be there to offer your faithful suggestion...
and, I will see to it that this song plays
as long as we both lie in one another’s arms.

-kh 02/01


do I believe we'd be better off apart?
can I see my world without you in it?
baby, not for a single minute...

© Copyright 2001 snowpants - All Rights Reserved
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
1 posted 2001-03-05 04:13 PM


This is a romantic beauty! Great write!! I love the positive romantic theme and the intimacy on all different levels....very wise and fulfilling poem!!

The poet is like a cocoon; in him the caterpillar of the past finds rest, and from him the butterfly of the future emerges.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2001-03-05 07:48 PM


the passion won’t fade...the ecstasy will survive,
but, now the harmony of certainty will enhance...
the assurance of awaking to the sight of your face,
the promise we made regarding the weathering of storms
will stand through the ordeals of every day.
====================

wonderful expressions of devotion and emotions
I liked the tie in to music and nature
well done once again SP
gorgeous pic too
another well inspired write
you've become most accomplished in free verse and imagery ..
(did ya give up on rhyme?) LOL
great write
jm

It's amazing
how you make your face just like a wall
how you take your heart and turn it off
how I turn my head and lose it all
MB20

Celeste
Senior Member
since 2000-11-11
Posts 597

3 posted 2001-03-05 08:08 PM


Beautiful Snowpants! You've captured magic!

"One out of four people in this country is mentally imbalanced. Think of your three closest friends - and if they seem okay, then you're the one."

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2001-03-05 08:14 PM


Most Wonderful!

snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
5 posted 2001-03-05 08:45 PM


ethome: why thank you so very much! I am glad you enjoyed this!!

JM: wow...thank you, m'friend, for your wonderful reply! and, no, I haven't totally given up on rhyme...shhh...don't tell the teach...LOL...it's just been hard to write lately, and this was a stretch for me! So, I was happy with whatever I got out on paper, but, I was actually thinking about the same thing today...so, we'll see! but thank you for your kind support as always!!

dreamkeeper: well thank you! magic, huh? you are too kind! I am glad you liked this!!

Sunshine: thank you so much! glad you enjoyed!

sp


do I believe we'd be better off apart?
can I see my world without you in it?
baby, not for a single minute...

Tennessee Angel
Senior Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 661
Tennessee
6 posted 2001-03-05 11:15 PM


Good stuff, Snowpants! Glad I stayed up long enough to read this one.
Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
7 posted 2001-03-06 12:51 PM


kris-

wowza! what a lovely look at that
beautiful heart of yours. i agree
w/ Janet...you sure do got this
imagery free verse thing down pat
girlie! just simply beatiful this is
...but then again i would expect no
less from you!
love ya my friend
amy

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart & can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."


DreamLess
Member
since 2001-02-28
Posts 92

8 posted 2001-03-06 04:21 AM


the words are very lovely ...
the pic and the yellow colour and every thing

it puts you in the mood


WRITTEN BY ME..(17 YRS HIGHSCHOOL GIRL)
EASY ON ME.. I'M JUST AN AMATEUR

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
9 posted 2001-03-06 08:03 AM


just beautiful..this I shall save...has much meaning to me

thank you
~Wynter


"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

10 posted 2001-03-06 09:38 AM


I LOOK for your poetry.....you never disappoint.

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee


suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
11 posted 2001-03-06 12:04 PM


For some reason, I can't see the picture (and I'm on a REAL computer, not my poor dinosaur *G*) but the beauty of your words stands strong without the addition... I like the romance of it... and the promise. *S*
snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
12 posted 2001-03-06 01:16 PM


TA: I'm glad you did too!! thank you so much!!

Aims: oh, now, my dear friend...you are so sweet! thank you for your always thoughtful responses! yer da best! -e ~~~~~

Dreamless: thanks so much! I'm glad you got that! it was what I was going for! I'm glad you liked it!

Wynter: and that means so much to me...I am am happy to hear that it has meaning to you...thanks, my friend!

Kathleen: now, my friend...you are too sweet! that means a lot to hear that, ya know? thank you so very much!!

suthern: aww...i'm sorry you can't see the picture...it is quite lovely, I thought. It's a very nice autumn scene...but, thank you so much for your wonderful reply! I truly appreciate it your kind words!

sp


do I believe we'd be better off apart?
can I see my world without you in it?
baby, not for a single minute...

kitkat
Senior Member
since 2000-01-11
Posts 878
Nova Scotia
13 posted 2001-03-06 01:17 PM


*sighs* may you hear that song play for ever.
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

14 posted 2001-03-06 09:25 PM


Very lovely, Snowpants! Beautifully written and presented!
snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
15 posted 2001-03-06 09:34 PM


kitkat: why thank you...and, yes...I hope so too!!

Denise: thank you so much, my friend! It's good to see you!!

sp


do I believe we'd be better off apart?
can I see my world without you in it?
baby, not for a single minute...

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

16 posted 2001-03-08 09:20 AM


(via the phone)... the "teach" says
this is a wonderful write of imagery and expression and your free verse has grown much.
(But) the teach wants to see you go for the rhyme again...
so your assigment for the week is to
write a rhyming poem ASAP
(Friday by 5 pm is good for me)
and no using the weather as an excuse that you cant get to class
************
sorry girlie...I only type what Im told too
LOL
a bossy cowboy with a phone card is dangerous thing LOL
JM

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
17 posted 2001-03-08 05:36 PM


like it
snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
18 posted 2001-03-08 05:44 PM


JM: ok...don't worry...I don't blame you...I'd listen to a 'cowboy with a phone card' too!! sheesh...demanding!! but, tell him I said thank you for the wonderful comment, but NOT for the assignment, 'cuz now I'll have to pull an all-nighter for this one!! Thanks a LOT!! and, dangit...the weather...hmmm...I was gonna use that one, 'cuz it's worked pretty much against me so far, so I figured I'd make SOME use of it, but I GUESS NOT!! (thanks, jm, for the message, btw!! )

vandana: thanks! glad you liked it!!

sp


do I believe we'd be better off apart?
can I see my world without you in it?
baby, not for a single minute...

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