In want of a title, that won't give away the subject. Help?!?

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Open Poetry #12

In want of a title, that won't give away the subject. Help?!?

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

0 posted 2001-03-01 01:08 AM

Oceans of concrete
wave the midday to an alerted,
fevered fervor!
Casting bricks and stones about
as if shaking dandruff from its shoulders
or pebbles from its bed
to cast them ashore
while seeking more comfortable sleep.

A flurry of action, ensues,
spinning mindlessly
lacking direction or goal
clear enough to order their movement,
willy-nilly seeking salvation,
freedom from the debris
surfing the contours
of each swell
and cars hanging ten
minus six
with no spare to spare.

Rock and roll
in its onslaught
of the fifty's
created no stir equal
to the writhing
of the land today
in the minds
and fears of those
that begged to sit this one out.

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2001-03-01 01:13 AM

I like this a lot.......but a title that doesn't give it away is hard........I'm thinking "shaken" or maybe "reckless" at any rate.......no matter what you title this, it's great.

SEA

ggrn3
Member

since 2000-08-17

Posts 433
Nahunta Georgia U.S.

2 posted 2001-03-01 03:12 AM

VAS
I liked this one. It sounds a little "dangerous," like the ride of a life time. I'm sure someone will be able to title this one for you, if you do not come up with a title of your own.

Garfield

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant

since 2000-06-17

Posts 5546
missouri

3 posted 2001-03-01 03:41 AM

LOL well I like Earthquake...but that gives it away...california Style hehehe that does too huh

nona
Member

since 2000-03-03

Posts 139
Fla

4 posted 2001-03-01 07:28 AM

VAS like this one great brings vivid pictures to mind...how about just TURMULT for a title.
hope you find one for this it is a "keeper"
nona

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

5 posted 2001-03-01 10:24 AM

Rock and Roll (music by MotherEarth)--
I know...probably a bit light hearted, but that's just ME...loved your poem.

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

6 posted 2001-03-02 12:10 PM

Thanks all, and fun suggestions, too! Don't know what I'll call it yet. I just don't want the title to tell the tale.

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