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Open Poetry #12
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2001-02-28 03:15 AM


It should soothe your very soul
to watch my solitaire flash cold
a sparkle on a finger's whim
the irony of ice--from HIM.
To feel the heaviness refrain
to think I trusted once again
and all the sparkling of dew
is all my memory left of you.

strange, how teardrop from a star
outshines a diamond, charcoaled scar...
naught but ashes in compress
proof that fire never rests
in the trailing of my tears
mascara mapping out my fears,
from my eyes and down my cheek--
a tiny spark of me, in seek,
outshining diamonds
treasured keep
a universe
in one tear's weep.



" Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go."
T.S. Eliot


© Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
1 posted 2001-02-28 03:22 AM


This is so very sad and painful Celeste! I can just envision those tears outshining diamonds flowing from you in your time of loneliness and hurt. You really captured me with this it's so emotional and presented with a crying heart...take care.....good writing!

The poet is like a cocoon; in him the caterpillar of the past finds rest, and from him the butterfly of the future emerges.

[This message has been edited by ethome (edited 02-28-2001).]

Packratmike
Senior Member
since 2001-02-25
Posts 632
California, USA
2 posted 2001-02-28 03:33 AM


from my eyes and down my cheek--
a tiny spark of me, in seek,
outshining diamonds
treasured keep
a universe
in one tear's weep.

Very touching.....nice.

Dee
Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia
3 posted 2001-02-28 03:50 AM


serenity, what a beautiful touching poem.
hugs to you
Dee


I wish you every happiness and may you always have the best of the good things in life. a brand

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
4 posted 2001-02-28 03:56 AM


Hope everythings is alright...excellent writing...James
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

5 posted 2001-02-28 09:43 AM


This is excellent.

Kathleen Blake

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee


mystic requiem
Member
since 2001-01-26
Posts 144

6 posted 2001-02-28 10:05 AM


*applause*
Simply wonderfully woven.
Love the mascara trailing down...great imagery.
*thanx*




Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2001-02-28 10:13 AM


Serenity...sadly beautiful, and relating, my dear, relating....
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
8 posted 2001-02-28 08:14 PM


the things that a tear reveals. . .

wonderful my friend. . .

---------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

walker
Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240
Florida
9 posted 2001-02-28 08:34 PM


This is so sad, but I had a thought when I was reading this, when I was little I used to laugh so hard, I cried. I wonder if the tears of joy and sadness are made up of the same thing? Really touching!

A quarter of a century must pass, for the writer to understand what and why he writes.

CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

10 posted 2001-02-28 11:12 PM


>To feel the heaviness refrain to think I trusted once again and all the sparkling of dew is all my memory left of you...

>strange, how teardrop from a star outshines a diamond, charcoaled scar...

>a universe in one tear's weep...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Serenity, you've penned something close to home here...
This is excellent writing and my sincerest thanks for this read...
~coco~

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
11 posted 2001-02-28 11:40 PM


Serenity~ this tugged at my heart......very emotional SEA
ATelamon
Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 328
Purgatory, Last Staircase, Up
12 posted 2001-02-28 11:55 PM


This reminds me of a poem titled: "Scattered Diamonds"

I relive the former as I read the latter.

Thank You


DreamLess
Member
since 2001-02-28
Posts 92

13 posted 2001-03-01 02:54 AM


really touching

i almost cry
.
.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

14 posted 2001-03-01 12:21 PM


It should soothe your very soul
to watch my solitaire flash cold
a sparkle on a finger's whim
the irony of ice--from HIM.
=====================
strange, how teardrop from a star
outshines a diamond, charcoaled scar...
naught but ashes in compress
proof that fire never rests
in the trailing of my tears
mascara mapping out my fears,
from my eyes and down my cheek--
a tiny spark of me, in seek,
outshining diamonds
treasured keep
a universe
in one tear's weep.
========================

"strange, how teardrop from a star
outshines a diamond, charcoaled scar...
naught but ashes in compress
proof that fire never rests"

that has got to be one of the coolest damn verses I have ever read.
your muse is remarkable ...
as is your gift of rhyme ...
and level of inspire and expression




Strange ... the desire for certain pleasures is a part of my pain.
~Kahlil Gibran~

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

15 posted 2001-03-01 02:08 PM


ethome...thank you my tender hearted friend!

mike...thank you as well...I've been enjoying your work as well and hope to be replying more often now!

dee...hugs back m'friend.

James Michael...not to worry, I just get da blues sometimes! But thanks, was sweet of you to ask!

Kathleen...thank you lovie! Stay well and hugs.

mystic...thanks, sometimes I think "running mascara" IS my ink...sigh. Thank you.

karilea...just hugs for relating. smiles to you across the miles.

sven...yes. thank you my friend.

walker...I will let you know if I ever find out! sniff..sniff... Thanks!

Coco..I just wish I present them as beautifully as you do...thank you, my kind friend!

SEA...Yes, I've often said you could track my female cycle through my poetry...lol

AT....please send as I would not want it to be too similar? wouldja? Thanks!

dreamless...now stop that--crying is MY job...now smile for me? Thanks.

JM....glad you are back! Hope you are well...missed you at Carnival---they all axed fer you!

Thanks to all and HUGS TO FORUM.

" Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go."
T.S. Eliot


Dennis
Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 235
Indiana
16 posted 2001-03-02 09:55 AM


sure diamond are what women like but
a good woman deserves that AND a PURE GOLD BAND,

Dennis

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
17 posted 2001-03-07 12:29 PM


Ive never understood the fascination of a diamond...they speak of its fire and brilliance...but all I ever see is a cold cold light...and you are right darlin...that tear on your cheek and the ones sparkling in your eyes speak more eloquently than the flash on your finger...a ring can be a shackle as well as a symbol...hugs sweet babe
sans38
Member
since 2001-03-03
Posts 117
Westland, Michigan
18 posted 2001-03-07 12:57 PM


serenity....this was a truly touching poem, it brought tears to my eyes!
p.s. thanks for the welcome : )

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