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Open Poetry #12
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

0 posted 2001-02-26 08:47 PM


Rain and thunderstorms,
A warning instead of a watch,
This calm life is once again turning to the wind,
And I fear these storms no more.
I used to flinch with every flash,
Of light up the night lightning strike,
And now I boldy stare at it,
Demanding that it give me back,
What it took long ago.
So awash in Spring rain and fever,
What is just around the corner of my turning point,
Awaits me more impatiently,
As the day's gallop gets more intense.


"This above all-ask yourself in the stillest hour of your night:MUST I write? Delve into yourself for a deep answer.

Rainer Maria Rilke
from "Le

© Copyright 2001 Jennifer - All Rights Reserved
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

1 posted 2001-02-26 10:05 PM


Stand up to that storm, young lady!

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee


Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
2 posted 2001-02-26 10:34 PM


Thanks for the support, Kathleen. You don't know how much I appreciate it. ((HUGS))
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
3 posted 2001-02-26 10:41 PM


But don't forget... "Don't mess with Mother Nature"... Stay safe while you're standing up to that storm..
Poeminister
Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
4 posted 2001-02-26 10:47 PM


temptress--I like the feeling of this...well expressed.

Poeminister

"At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet."
-Plato


Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
5 posted 2001-02-26 11:03 PM


So glad to see you so strong, Temptress.

Corinne

desperado
Member
since 1999-05-24
Posts 312
FT Hood,Tx
6 posted 2001-02-27 04:59 AM


hey jenn, nice to see you today. hope things get a bit better. just a few suggestions here on something that caught my eye (that's not about the mistake, I liked the title. took me a while to find this glitch.) in the beginning part you write about how it's calm while at the end you say you are galloping. that doesn't quite click together. perhaps journey? travels? jaunt? play around with it just a touch and see what you can get. I did like the touch of season there with the spring, and it seems like the lightning you are describing is a summer storm so perhaps the end deals with autumn comming sooner than you wished. now bear in mind I'm throwing out have formed thoughts. trying to make you think, but give you ideas. other than that, if this poem were attached to one with the same mood, you could say this was a wonderful piece of foreshadowing. ominous writting here and a wonderful way to describe defiance.
Red-uni
Member
since 2000-07-30
Posts 192
Georgia, USA
7 posted 2001-02-27 12:39 PM


Hi Lady,
Enjoyed your post!!!! I have always liked the way you write.
Thanks, for inviting me to post on Passions.
Red

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
8 posted 2001-02-27 12:53 PM


you will weather this storm. . .

excellent. . .

-------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

RobertB
Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104
Champaign, IL
9 posted 2001-02-27 01:02 PM


Oh I like this......I know of this storm.
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
10 posted 2001-02-27 04:32 PM


Nan,
Thanks for reading, and don't worry, I will.

PoetMinister:
I'm glad the feeling was effective. Thanks for reading!

Cor:
So glad to see you reading! Thanks!

Des,
Thanks! I'll have to play around with it more but on paper. I knew I could count on you for some insight!

Red-Uni:
You are most welcome for the invitation, and thank you for honoring us with your presence and your writing. Thanks also for your usual and wonderful support on my writing.

RobertB:
All too familiar, eh? I'm glad you enjoyed.



suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
11 posted 2001-02-28 01:49 PM


I used to flinch with every flash,
Of light up the night lightning strike,
And now I boldy stare at it,
Demanding that it give me back,
What it took long ago.

I like this, Temptress... a great way to face life as well as the storms it tosses our way. *S*

Secret Whisper
Member
since 2001-01-25
Posts 298
Through the Looking Glass
12 posted 2001-02-28 02:03 PM


Wonderful! The imagery of the storm is immaculately written. Excellent.


"Death marks the beginning, not the end. It is our journey to God." --Billy Graham

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