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Open Poetry #12
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Poet deVine
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Hurricane Alley

0 posted 2001-02-24 11:43 AM


Thanks to Moondust for the challenge phrase:

Shadows of my dreams


She, in white lace floating
He, in formal tux black
Together down the aisle
as one, no turning back.

I, watching from the edge
of a circle I cannot join
This would have been mine
but for the flipping of a coin

He chose to leave, heads
I chose to stay, tails
now I know loneliness
and all that it entails

Tears create a shadow world
everything in half light it seems
you live in her brightness
I, in the shadows of my dreams



© Copyright 2001 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved
Elizabeth
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Minnesota
1 posted 2001-02-24 11:55 AM


I like this....may have to borrow these challenge phrases. Beautifully done.
Poet deVine
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Hurricane Alley
2 posted 2001-02-24 11:58 AM


Help yourself..we've started a list of them in the Challenge Forum!
doreen peri
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since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
3 posted 2001-02-24 12:26 PM


excellent writing, sharon!! many good lines and phrases in here......
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

4 posted 2001-02-24 12:29 PM


a touch of sadness, but beautiful!

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey."
Laurie Lee


Poeminister
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since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
5 posted 2001-02-24 12:30 PM


Wonderfully penned...enjoyed the read.

Poeminister

Nate Dogg
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since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
6 posted 2001-02-24 12:45 PM


Beautifully written, I love this....brilliant poem!

Nathan

Kit McCallum
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since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
7 posted 2001-02-24 12:50 PM


Wonderful Sharon! You captured such a tender mood in this piece ... the sighs of lost dreams echo beautifully in these lines. Very nicely done!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Alicat
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since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094
Coastal Texas
8 posted 2001-02-24 01:31 PM


Whoa, deVine one! This one took me back, and showed me unconcealed memories. Not good, not bad....just memories, slightly faded and dogeared from much past perusal. Time doesn't heal all wounds. On the contrary, Time only allows one to adjust to the pain.

You continue to amaze me.

Alicat

Poet deVine
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Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
9 posted 2001-02-24 01:32 PM


Thank you all...but part of the credit for this one goes to Moon Dust's phrase..it triggered my sleeping Muse!
Janet Marie
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since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

10 posted 2001-02-24 01:42 PM


, watching from the edge
of a circle I cannot join
This would have been mine
but for the flipping of a coin

He chose to leave, heads
I chose to stay, tails
now I know loneliness
and all that it entails

Tears create a shadow world
everything in half light it seems
you live in her brightness
I, in the shadows of my dreams
=============

talk about a bittersweet turn of phrase
this is written with an ironic ache of unrequited that lifts off the page
very well written and expressed Sharon
and the cadence is perfect

Strange ... the desire for certain pleasures is a part of my pain.
~Kahlil Gibran~

Moon Dust
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Skelmersdale, UK
11 posted 2001-02-24 07:40 PM


Lovely use of my line there, I been trying to think what I could do with it for months

~Maria~



[This message has been edited by Moon Dust (edited 02-24-2001).]

Charisma
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lost in blue pages
12 posted 2001-02-24 08:02 PM


wonderful penned.....loved reading this excellent piece.

Charisma

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

13 posted 2001-02-24 08:05 PM


Hauntingly beautiful PDevine. You took the challenge and responded excellently. A keeper for the library. *s*

Enjoy life...this is NOT a dress rehearsal. *s*

Voiceless
Senior Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 686
Under the stars upon the wind
14 posted 2001-02-24 08:23 PM


Great..
The scene beautiful and the way
you write just as beautiful..

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