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OLIAS
Senior Member

since 2000-06-20

Posts 1090
Pearl city Iowa

0 posted 2001-02-24 11:05 AM

Natures Law

Slumped in the singles bar,
my favourite hyde of anonymity,
I surveyed the marble serenghetti,
the herd of hearts grazing before me.
Humming birds flitting from frying pan to fire,
bewildered wilderbeast, drowning in cocktailed waterholes,
and versace clad vultures, preening and posturing,
twenty two carat talons, perched high on chrome pedestals,
looking for prey.

Intrigue,
one lone predator breaks,
wheels around the room, eyes bourbon bright,
prey spotted,
injured from neglect, bleeding from lost love,
dying for affection.
In a flurry of gold cards and silk, the strike,
predator and prey gone,
half an hour later, a flapping of cell phones,
the rest, licentiously picking over the bones of machismo.

Olias.

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

1 posted 2001-02-24 11:10 AM

Marvelous!!!! Perfect description of a singles bar!!

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

2 posted 2001-02-24 11:10 AM

WOW!! LOVE this!! Absolutely perfect...........

SEA

OLIAS
Senior Member

since 2000-06-20

Posts 1090
Pearl city Iowa

3 posted 2001-02-24 05:42 PM

P.D.

Thank you for your reply, you can where I spend most of my time lol.

SEA,

Thanks for your kind comment, it was much appreciated.

Regards to you both,
Olias.

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

4 posted 2001-02-26 05:27 PM

This depiction was so great I could smell the smoke and spilled drinks... and see the slump of shoulders going home alone to scrub off the artificial sparkle... great job!

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

5 posted 2001-02-26 05:37 PM

Wow....perfect in presentation....I enjoyed every word as it is the truth of nature....

well done, Olias....

JLR
Senior Member

since 2001-02-04

Posts 1785

6 posted 2001-02-26 05:43 PM

'Eyes bourbon bright'...loved this especially and all the rest.

sonagolese
Junior Member

since 2001-02-26

Posts 18
Virginia

7 posted 2001-02-26 06:48 PM

Beautifully seedy and provocative imagery...outstanding!!

Effigy
Member

since 2000-04-11

Posts 486
disbelief

8 posted 2001-02-26 06:56 PM

Outstanding. Comepletely outstanding. I loved this. Very well done.

OLIAS
Senior Member

since 2000-06-20

Posts 1090
Pearl city Iowa

9 posted 2001-02-27 07:07 PM

Suthern,
You cant scrub away the sparkle in your soul, thank you for your reply.

Sunshine,
Thank you for your kind comments, be well.

JLR,
Bourbon eyes are a hazard of bars me thinks, thanks for replying, take care.

Sonagolese,

Welcome to passions and thanks for taking the time to read and comment, much appreciated.

Effigy,

Your very kind, its funny that wherever you go in the world, bars speak a universal truth.Thank you for your comments.

Regards to everyone.

Olias.

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