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Open Poetry #12
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Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2001-02-23 08:16 PM


The Recipe

In the hallowed bread of life
slice me thin and give me time
to express all the grainy probity
absorb all the scented oil

Cook me slow in embers glow
like a fluff of marshmallow turned
‘til the burn takes hold in flame
to melt a heart revealing

Risen aged this harbinger
sweet with springtime planting
to log this dreary day in haze
of countryside concealing

Pebbles of ice have touched me
and thrown their spite on lawn
but now a gentle quiet voice
will keep the dough from falling

Heaven's parted open gate
absorbs the pipes that play
the cloth is open clean and dry
so stay no more in weeping

Down the fragment of each crumb
a flowered hand has softened
for time kneads dough with knowing hands
and oven warm is keeping


[This message has been edited by Martie (edited 02-23-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2001-02-23 08:22 PM


Martie, this is wonderful....... SEA
Voiceless
Senior Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 686
Under the stars upon the wind
2 posted 2001-02-23 08:22 PM


A word of wisdom, in the form of cooking!
Well done!


~*Peachy Be*~

Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

3 posted 2001-02-23 08:34 PM


Very creative, very beautifully expressed, Martie!!!
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

4 posted 2001-02-23 09:02 PM


Lovely lovely Martie - as usual...

sigh - you really are my poetic click yanno?

Just a couple of errors to point out:

'and thrown there spite on lawn' - their

and

'Heavens parted open gate' - Heaven's

I don't have the energy to critique lol...hugs dear..see you soon!

K


Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
5 posted 2001-02-23 09:13 PM


Sea--thank you for the wonderful reply.

Voiceless--Loved your "well done" play on words.

Denise--thanks for your sweetness.

Kamla--I need to go back to English 101...thanks!

Poeminister
Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
6 posted 2001-02-23 09:14 PM


Love this, very creative and beautifully penned.

Poeminister

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2001-02-23 10:22 PM


In the hallowed bread of life
slice me thin and give me time
to express all the grainy probity
absorb all the scented oil
===================
‘til the burn takes hold in flame
to melt a heart revealing
==================
Pebbles of ice have touched me
and thrown their spite on lawn
but now a gentle quiet voice
will keep the dough from falling
================
Down the fragment of each crumb
a flowered hand has softened
for time kneads dough with knowing hands
and oven warm is keeping
=================
oh I love the feel of this..its whole essence
very clever and unique writing Martie
such cool use of metaphor...


"so stay no more in weeping"

what a beautiful little line that is ...
this whole poem is a slice of Heaven ... with the crusts left on
awesome my sweet poetess


Strange ... the desire for certain pleasures is a part of my pain.
~Kahlil Gibran~

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
8 posted 2001-02-24 04:05 AM


"for time kneads dough with knowing hands." I don't know how anyone could disagree with that!
I love this recipe Martie it reminds me of the other wonderful creative works you have composed...thanks for sharing this one....take care ethome

The poet is like a cocoon; in him the caterpillar of the past finds rest, and from him the butterfly of the future emerges.

ATelamon
Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 328
Purgatory, Last Staircase, Up
9 posted 2001-02-24 07:19 AM


Like others the line of "time kneading..."

Stuck out as probably the most forceful line. But the metaphor whole was certainly pulled from the oven with near perfect timing.

AT

"Decisions are Dominoes. Pause to reflect, before you set them in motion.

Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

10 posted 2001-02-24 11:10 AM


wonderful poetry as always... enjoy you pennings muchly.
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