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Open Poetry #12
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Shadows Dancing
| Open Poetry #12 |
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Shadows Dancing |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
In the moonlights shadows, dancing The only music, the wind in the trees Rustling leaves and tugging curls Whispering across lips upturned for a kiss In the moonlights shadows, dancing Dew stained grass on bare feet Honeysuckle blossoms heavy with scent A taste that lingers on the tongue In the moonlights shadows, dancing A whipporwill calling in three four time Fingers tangled in silken hair Eyes sparkling with unending love In the moonlights shadows, dancing Through the night, through the years The song of love held close between them Through each rising of the sun In the moonlight, shadows dancing Memories of times gone by Love still lingers in the shadows Waiting for the dance to begin |
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| © Copyright 2001 Paula Finn - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dee Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330Queensland, Australia |
Paula, I think it was a challenge well met. beautiful poem. Dee I wish you every happiness and pray you'll always have the best of the good things in life. a brand |
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ggrn3 Member
since 2000-08-17
Posts 433Nahunta Georgia U.S. |
"love still lingers in the shadows" "waiting for the dance to begin." Paula My dance has just begun and I'm dancing in the shadows, because I just loved this one.  Garfield |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Oh, my Paula~ This is so lovely. On my morning walk today the air is laden with orange blossom scent - perhaps that is why I loved this thought - 'In the moonlights shadows, dancing Dew stained grass on bare feet Honeysuckle blossoms heavy with scent' I really enjoyed where you took this one. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
A lot of romantic memories in the moonlight Lovely Liz |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Paula dear heart, this is sooooooooo beautiful it really is an absolutely fabulous beautiful piece from you. I really truly love this one, but you guessed that I know.  Thanks for this treasure love I shall keep it close to hand Take care love as always Mushy Take back the hope you gave,- I claim Only a memory of the same Robert Browning |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Another beautiful poem, Paula ~Wynter "The worst prison would be a closed heart". ...Pope John Paul II |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Paula~ Beautifully done!! SEA |
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Agust P Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 157 |
a beautiful poem, thanks! AP |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Dee...well it took me a while to see the challenge lol...but thank you ggrn3...well sir my dance card isnt full...care to trip the light fantastic with me? Thanks Marge...lucky you lol...I walk outside and smell...SNOW...but I'm so looking forward to spring and the chance to dig in my yard...thank you Liz...lovely lady its always an honour when you read and reply to something I have written...thank you Marsha...LOL sweetheart...if only everyone thought like you do dear...thanks and hugs sis Wynter...I'm glad you find it beautiful...thanks Sea...thank you...it was a beautiful thought to begin with AgustP...there is beauty in the moonlight if we take the time to look and REALLY see...thank you |
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Voiceless Senior Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 686Under the stars upon the wind |
A great poem i am honored to have been able to have read it. ~*Peachy Be*~ |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
'In the moonlights shadows, dancing A whipporwill calling in three four time Fingers tangled in silken hair Eyes sparkling with unending love In the moonlights shadows, dancing Through the night, through the years The song of love held close between them Through each rising of the sun' I love these lines...the whole poem is beautiful, but these are simply fantastic, Paula!! Great write! sp  everytime I close my eyes, I see your face, I taste you on my lips... every night I fantasize that I can feel you on my fingertips... |
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JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
Fingers tangled in silken hair... And don't even get me started on the honeysuckle. I'm finding it real hard not to join all you beautiful romantics tonight. We'll see... Thanks for your words, all of them. |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Voiceless...the honour was mine in having you read...thank you sp...you are ever here with such sweet and encouraging words for me...thank you JLR...cmon...join us...and please tell me about the honeysuckle...do you remember the sweetness on your tongue? |
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Poeminister Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862Regina SK; Canada |
Paula--Beautiful write....Enjoyed this muchly. Poeminister |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Very, very beautiful. I would remove the 'the' from the last line to keep the rhythm. I think it still reads correctly that way and the syllable count agrees with the last line in the stanza above it. Also, in the first 3 stanzas, I think you either need an apostrophe in moonlight's or to remove the 's'. See what you think. It's either that shadows are possessed by the moonlight, or moonlight is the modifier of the type of shadows. |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
I don't know how I missed the beauty of this wonderful work...the suggestions are quite harmless when it comes to the basic content of the poem....this is from a wondeful heart and a good writer!!! keep up the good work!! The poet is like a cocoon; in him the caterpillar of the past finds rest, and from him the butterfly of the future emerges. |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Poeminister...I'm glad you enjoyed it thank you VAS...thank you for your suggestions...its to late to edit them here tho...taking the ...the...out it just doesnt quit sound the same to me and as for the punctuation you are right...dont know hopw I missed it...thanks ethome...you are always so wonderful in your praise of my work and I value all you have to say...thank you |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
wow!!! that is really beautiful thanks for sharing i love it "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
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